Habits of Happiness ... or Habits of Ruin?

Have you ever considered home chores as habits?  This is the kind of stuff I ponder every day.  Why do we do what we do and is there a better way?  Last night I did a presentation on clutter for the city of Federal Way.  Most of my talk was on habits...because....

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

By shifting our habits we create our future.  For some, the daily grind of caring for a home becomes a depleting burden... by shifting our habits we can take what we thought of as a chore and turn it into a practice that works for us. 

Life is precious.  Let your habits work for you.

Action:  Notice what you do, how you think about your home? What habits do you have?  This is where I can help.  We rarely see ourselves.  It's a blessing and curse.  By having an outside and kindly soul help you see, you get to start shifting and creating a life and home you love.

     happy habits...lead to happy lives,

          Denise Frakes

               Home and life coach at your service

Use your chores to make your New Year's Resolutions stick

  I know I've talked about our chores as a gold mine of possibilities before... for years.  As this new year cycled around I read that the average New Year's Resolution only lasts 18 days.  Not only that but we keep repeating those same resolutions 10 times with no success!  I was lightning struck!

    A friend of ours was at the gym the other day. Normally, gyms are notorious for being packed with New Year's Resolutions... not this year. It was empty. I think we are giving up.  We know new years resolutions don't work... And they don't...unless you give them a home. 

Don't give up on your dreams.  Dreaming is essential to being alive

For our New Year's Resolutions to succeed...we need to think habit. 
We need to give our dreams a home

   It doesn't matter how busy we are …. we all have habits.  One place we overlook as a help is our  home habits, life chore habits... These old chore habits can give us the space, time and focus we need to create the life we dream of.  One secret to making a new habit attach it to an existing habit...

Did you know...

  "On average 40% of all daily human activities are habits"

And from of a study of 50,000 American families - 

Our habits are pretty much set by the time we are 9 years old!

                                                           Tom Corley's Book: Change your habits, change your life

Habit:  consistent and persistent practices, routines and tendencies

 done overtime that become automatic

Our success and failure are dictated by our habits. 

   Healthy habits uplift our lives bringing us happiness and success 

 Poor habits throw us under the bus causing stress and failure

What does this have to do with resolutions and chores?  Everything!!!!! 
Our probability of sticking with a New Year's resolution is more about our habits than our will power..

     We are creatures of habit.  

Three ways to let your chores...support your dreams

1.
Realize we have a gold mine of existing habits in place.  We have space to create new habits.  

Use our ingrained healthy habits as triggers to create more healthy habits.

2. 

 Take your dreams and simplify them into daily bite sized actions 

3. 

Attach these daily actions to a current habit..  Stay consistent with an action toward your goal for at least 66 days and wala…  
your chances of actually seeing your dream come into reality... sky rockets!

Start Here:  First we have to notice our own habits.  What is familiar is lost to us.. 40% of our actions are unconscious- habitual actions.  For 2-3 days simply notice your own habits.  Ask questions... Notice...What do you do everyday?  Which habits are brilliant, supportive and which are un-necessary or even detrimental to the life you dream of?  What do you do at specific times of day, when you wake up, get home from work, after supper?  Pick a habit that works and add your new habit to this one. Keep it simple, doable in any weather and life happenings.

Happy New Year!  

    Denise Frakes  Life and Home Coach for Creating Space

FYI:  If you want to hear more from me, hire me to speak or as your own personal coach. Buy products or books (if they support you) through my site (I'm an affiliate of Amazon and sell Norwex)  Please share my posts and let me know how your doing.   We are here to work together- thank you and happy New Year!

Perfect cleaning is irritating to the soul

 

Cleaning is a means to enhance the happiness and health of life and home.  It isn't perfection or judgment.  I don't aim for a perfect home and as I look around my home today, I'm happily enjoying today...and my house is messy.  It will get rebooted but not at this moment..

When you visit a home and it's out of order...smile and love the person.  Smile at your instincts that might judge and realize they are probably generations old.

It's time to let go of judgment and love what is.  Creating a home that is healthy and happy is the goal.  Perfection is irritating to the soul.  Embracing the art of imperfection is a kinder place to live.

Just a thought from one beautifully imperfect soul to another

              Denise

          

Housework- burnout. It's real

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  there is a sparkle in their presence.  When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety.  Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                       Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188

Clean toilets aren't sexy but matter.  Have you ever got sick and headed for the toilet?  Cleaning matters. It's also a life chore.  A life chore is a daily or weekly chore that repeats, repeats and repeats.  They never finish. Household chores travel under the radar- no parade or wow moments...they are essential and consistent.  They plod along year after year.

 Left uncared for, life chores will wear on our spirits and vitality.  Think about it cleaning & cooking every day, every week for the next 60 years... The doer of these quiet chores is going to need a little love. If not cared for homes feel neglected, clutter builds.  The caretaker heavy sighs and hangs their shoulders.

  My grandma Lois was uncommonly wise in her household chores.  She hired what she could, simplified the rest. She had grandpa do the outside work and grocery shopping. Her work was rhythmic- Saturday was laundry, dinner dishes were done and kitchen put to bed each night. As far as I know, she mostly woke up to a clean and tidy kitchen.   On Friday and Saturday nights, she took a breather and had my grandpa take her out to dinner.  Sunday night was called chef's night off.  Dinner was always popcorn and apples.  
I remember visiting her when she was in her 90s.  There were chores I wanted to help her with. She said, "let them wait, they will still be here tomorrow, I would rather spend time with you now."

Does clutter builds because we are just tired of fiddling with our stuff?

House Cleaning/Chore Burnout is real and more common than you think

Life burnout isn't just from your job... It comes from life.  Residue free living is cultivating habits and actions that keep your spirit joyful throughout your entire life.  So at the end of our life, when there are still bills to be paid, toilets to clean and meals to be created... our spirits will still shine, our laughter light and bubbling, ours hearts is still open and full of joy.  This is what residue free living is. It is the process of renewal of our mind, body, and spirit through life- no matter what the weather and what year of cleaning you are on.  Residue free is learning skills and habits that will make your work easier, more productive and more delightful.

This month I challenge you to lighten up your chores, your clutter.  Delegate what you can, hire help, reduce work, share work and let go of what is weighing you down.  Schedule days off.  Schedule play.  Add in splashes of color, delight, fresh flowers, curiosities and surprises for the spirit.  

residue free living 

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  

there is a sparkle in their presence.  

When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety. 

 Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                           Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188
           
                                            Happy Travels,
                                                 Denise- Residue free coach of home and life
                                                     There is not time life the present to change our future

There is Magic in Simplicity

Overly stuffed homes dull our spirits and muddle our brains
We spend our precious energy treading water
and chasing our tails

That's no way to live...…. 
 Join me this summer and find another way😊

   "Explore me, she whispered, "Peer behind the curtain, Look under the rock.  See what's really there."...

   "Believe me, I had no inkling when I started Simple Abundance that I was embarking on a safari to discover my authentic self.  To give you an idea of how little I knew in the beginning.  I thought I was conceiving a lifestyle book on downshifting."  
                                        Sarah Ban Breathnach- Simple Abundance August 18th

And here we start... summer 2019

  When we simplify, we look under our own rocks and find ourselves. Our spirits gets a jolt of oxygen.  Our wild, we thought we lost along the way...is hiding under our "too much" somewhere.....  Simplifying is a journey of the spirit.

with 28 years of helping families lighten up thier homes- of this I'm 100% sure.... 
  There is magic in simplifying, in lighting up our stuff, our thoughts and
 intentionally creating space to thrive in
 Our homes need flow!  We need space to breathe, time to ponder and wonder.

Don't let another summer pass you by. 
 Come with me this summer.
 We will declutter, downsize and simplify our lives.....
and ignite our delight.
Join me this summer on my Residue Free Facebook page for ideas, inspiration, play/workshop schedule and conversations!

Click Here to Join Me on Facebook 

Every great journey starts somewhere,
        Denise 

Use Compasionate Clutter Clearing

Practice Compassion as you Clear your Clutter

 In a perfect world nothing would ever side track our lives. We would always have an abundance of energy, time and support.  Our focus would be clear, simple and direct. Our hearts open and light.  And of course joy would bubble up from our core...however...

In the real world, our lives take unexpected turns.  We travel down paths without maps.  When life happens, we do the best we can.  Sometimes our home's upkeep falls off.  Sometimes our own upkeep falls off...

If your life got a bit off course, be kind to yourself.  And if you know someone whose life isn't perfect... be kind to them too.

It it's easy to think what we would do if x, y or z happens, but until you experience life dead on, we don't know.  Every story has … the rest of the story.

If you are reading this and your feel like your home is too full, heavy and overwhelming.  Please take a deep breath and send a little TLC inward.  Your home is not you, it is not your character or your soul.  It is a big box that takes a lot of work to maintain.  And our culture is loaded with enticing ways to fill it up.

 If you are feeling overwhelmed are not alone.  You have kindred spirits all over this country feeling the same as you.  Storage units are popping up everywhere for a reason.

  Uncluttering gives you your life back.  It gives you energy, hope and space to breathe.  It is a type of non-therapy- therapy.  As you sort, simplify and un-muddle your stuff, you rediscover and discover your life.  Uncluttering is powerful.

Compassionate uncluttering

1.  Be compassionate to yourself and those around you as you sort  Spend 99% of your time saying thank you and less than 1% condemning yourself.  It's a much better use of your time.

2.  Get professional help.  I can't stress this enough.  Getting unstuck is a million times easier, faster and more enjoyable with compassionate, energetic and supportive help.  Professional help, the compassionate kind, works with you from an unjudgmental space- cheering you forward.  When I work with my client's I think of myself more as a guide.

3.  Create focus.  Work in time blocks.  Be focused for 45 minutes take 5 minutes to refresh and reboot. Clutter muddles our thoughts.  To un-muddle we need clarity.  Work in clear blocks in specific spaces.  Stay focused and well hydrated!!

4. Be consistent and persistent in your uncluttering.  When you are making steady progress you will continue to gain energy and your habits and skills will improve.  Progress empowers you forward and naturally reduces stress. Schedule time, set an appointment with your coach or help.

5.  Use your words wisely  Listen to yourself.  What words are you using?  What metaphors are you creating?   Words are powerful.  Use words that empower, support, appreciate you and appreciate the winding life you have led.  Talk to yourself, like you would talk to a dear friend.

Our homes are shields that protect us.  Make your shield kind and compassionate.  Create a home where you feel loved and supported.  A space where you can open the door and feel nourished.  A space to invite in kindred spirits for a cup of tea and a good chat.
A magical being isn't going to blink away your clutter...but as you clean it away uncluttering becomes a magical experience.

Travel kindly,  Denise Frakes
    Life and Home Coach 

 Get support as you create a space and home you love!!

May's Classes by yours truly;-)

 Residue Free Cleaning Class May 16th at Marlene's in Federal Way.  Sign up here 

Create a Wabi Sabi Home Class May 28th at the Federal Way Naturopathy  Sign up here 

Fresh air indoors gives you energy

It's snowing outside.  Beautiful big flakes!  I'm thankfully all snug in my warm home.   When I got home today I opened up all my windows.  As soon as I cracked the first window, my kitty Penny came running.  She is wise... fresh air does a home and body good.

With Fresh Air
    Fresh air makes our homes healthier
    When our homes are healthy- we are healthier
    Cats love fresh air
    A bit of fresh air does a body and spirit good
    Our homes feel and smell better

Without Fresh Air
    We use fake air:  air fresheners, plug ins and deodorizing sprays trying to make our homes feel and smell fresh... there is no comparison!!  Fresh air isn't a bought from the grocery store.
     Carbon dioxide can build up....Not enough oxygen... we feel fatigued, our homes feel stuffy- heavy
    We don't sleep as well
    We aren't as healthy- oxygen is kind of important!!!
    Our cats become irritable

I know it seems like you are wasting energy by opening up windows.  I get it, but in reality 5 minutes will have very little if any impact on your heating bill.  The benefits of fresh air- priceless!!

Our homes need fresh air in - and stagnate air out
If you want to be healthy and happy open up windows. Refresh your air and sleep happy
   
 

Easy mistake in cleaning can be costly to health and wallet

This morning I received another call about a travertine floor... the homeowner's housecleaner used "something" that removed its finish/shine...oh dear...

That something is probably an acidic cleaner. Acidic cleaners and acids in general will eat away acid sensitive material- such as calcium. Calcium based stones such as marbles, travertine and even most grouts are acid sensitive. When an acid meets an acid sensitive material, they react to each other. This reaction on acid sensitive stone is referred to as an etch. The stone has been eaten away. The finish wasn't cleaned away but eaten away.

The most common accidental etching comes from our little friend: Vinegar. Vinegar is commonly used in green cleaning. However, it is not a mild cleaner. A mild cleaner is non abrasive and has a pH of around 7 or neutral. Vinegar is a non-buffered acid with a acidic pH of 3. Vinegar, even though it is safe to eat, is not always safe to use. Safe and mild are two different things. Safe refers to a product being nontoxic it also may mean - safe to use on all surfaces but not necessarily.

A product can be mild, non-harmful to a surface such as a neutral mildewcide but damaging people

Common household cleaners that are acidic are: toilet cleaners drain cleaners, shower/tile cleaners and vinegar-based window cleaners.

On top of etching, acidic cleaners are also reactive. When mixed with bleaches or alkaline cleaners they react. This reaction can be nontoxic, like the reaction you get when mixing baking soda and vinegar. But... and this is a big but!! It can also create a toxic and deadly gas!!

The most common reactive chemicals are ammonia/strong alkalines, bleaches and acids.

Never mix cleaning products!!! You may be creating a deadly and toxic gas!!!

It is incredibly easy to accidentally mix cleaners. You spray one in the air...and then you spray another in the air.  Walla- you just mixed products. I can't tell you how many times, I been told by a home and professional cleaner they had burning eyes, scratchy throats, coughing, headaches etc. when cleaning or post cleaning!

A travertine floor that has "lost" its sheen will need to be repolished. This is an expensive process and one that could have been easily prevented. An etched floor might be stressful and expensive but at least it wasn't deadly.

Home care is a science and an art.  Cleaning is chemistry and physics.

This blog is a good example why I teach healthy homes, residue free cleaning and sell residue free cleaning products.

  The 3 parts of Residue Free Cleaning

1. Practice Prevention

Start with prevention- read labels, do your research, take off your shoes, wipe down your showers, run your exhaust fans, open windows for fresh air...

2. Use the Mildest means

Always start with the mildest means. Mildest means... dusting, vacuuming, microfibers and neutral, nontoxic cleaners. You can always move up to a harsher cleaner but if you clean well, you rarely ever need to use anything more than water, neutral cleaners, vacuums and microfibers!

3. Leave your home residue free

Leave nothing behind... no germs, no cleaner, no moisture...

Rinse and dry your surfaces, don't spray cleaners in the air, let fresh air into your home

If you are going to leave anything behind in your cleaning...

 let it be gratitude 

Wishing you safe, happy and healthy home,

Denise Frakes

Home and Life Coach at your service

For education, products and coaching contact me at 253-815-0446, message me on facebook  or email me at info@dfbluesky.com

To purchase the best in microfibers click here. Any questions don't hesitate to contact me.

Cleaning should be easy, safe and non stressful!

How to motivate your cleaning...Thanksgiving tip

There are very few things that will motivate cleaning and decluttering a house like company coming does.  If you need motivation to get your house clean - schedule a party.  For the past 4 years we have hosted our family Thanksgiving Day the second sat of November.  This year our little party has expanded to 28 people and two dogs.

Before the big day, I found myself digging into the corners of my home. I cleaned out under sinks, in drawers and through cupboards.  I know my family isn't coming to give me the white glove treatment.  They know me way too well for that!

I clean mainly for me.  This may sound selfish but in reality it is the best gift I can give.  I'm more at ease with a rebooted and refreshed home.  I'm a better hostess when I'm at ease.  My stress is lowered my enjoyment of company raised. I can greet my guests with an open heart and joyful excitement.  

 Plus, when I'm highly motivated and focused in prep mode, I can get a ton done.  I ride the energy and excitement - using it for motivation.  Post celebration, I get to enjoy a happy and clean home.  Our guest rarely judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves- be kind.

I wonder how many gatherings never happen because we are embarrassed or stressed about our homes?  My home isn't perfect, fancy or even completely finished... homes are works of art in progress.  If I wait for the perfect time.... it will never happen.

I love having people pop in and out of my home and life.  Some days I get caught with life exploding all over, dirty dishes and life....  It seems company pops by on those days more than when everything is tidy and clean!  sigh... oh well such is life.

The fact is cleaning and cluttering are space cleaning.  By cleaning, sorting, organizing and refreshing a space, you create a more welcoming space for you to live in and welcome warmly your friends and family

I call cleaning, decluttering and organizing Re-Booting or Refreshing because they reset your life. Just like unplugging your electronics for 60 seconds and then plugging back in does for your computer! Magic!!! All better!

Plan a gathering at your home, one person or 28 people.  The number doesn't matter as much as the act of opening up your home does.  The gift you gain by having company in your life is exponentially greater than the effort it takes.  In a world of cell phones and facebook, good old face to face gatherings are priceless for body, mind and spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving!
        Denise Frakes
            Home and Life Coach

Early morning of our fake turkey day - 3 rented tables, chairs and one converted ping pong table 

     

Reduce your cleaning time by 50%!

Floors are the largest area you clean.  If you really want to save time in your cleaning- invest in better more effective tools.  Tools that cover more ground and work for you.

I see so many homes using disposable and inferior cleaning tools.  Most disposables or cheap tools are about 6 inches to 12 inches wide.  That's a whole lot of waisted time and energy.  

            Bottom line:

         cleaning can be quicker, easier and more effective 

  If you want to save time, improve your tools, create less work for yourself and for heavens sakes... always leave your floors residue free!!

3 ways to save time and energy cleaning your floors

1)  Keep the dirt out!  Install effective entrance mats and rugs.  Take off your shoes!!  

        78% of all soil gets tracked in from outside.

 Less dirt inside - saves you time and energy!!!

2.  Go residue free.  Using a microfiber to clean vs applying cleaner will save you future work.

        Cleaners are made to attract soil.  If you leave cleaner behind it will continue to work- attracting more soil.  By removing soil with friction/microfibers you will no longer be leaving product behind.  Not only will your floors be cleaner and stay cleaner, you will also have less soil/soap build up that will need to be removed later on. 

 Less residue left behind - saves you time and energy

3)  Upgrade your cleaning tools.  Don't waste your time and energy on inferior tools.  Invest in long lasting, heavy duty- and effective tools.  This goes for your vacuum and hard surface tools.  If you have a large home this is crucial!!  I sell the Norwex 20" microfiber mop.

 Faster work - saves you time and energy

Below are links to the Products I talk about in the video

Superior Mop Purchase link:  Click here tool for hard surfaces- save yourself 50% of cleaning time!

Chenille pad:  Click here  tool for when you have rough surfaces or fuzzy shedding critters

Tile and Grout pad: Click here  tool for when you need a wee bit more agitation in your microfiber

Rubber Brush: Click here  tool for cleaning microfiber and excellent cat hair removal brush

Enviro wand: Click here  tool for cleaning hard to reach spaces such as sky lights and ceiling fans

   Happy cleaning.
       Denise Frakes
        Home and personal coach...at your service

Cleaning Friend or Foe?

 This morning a poem popped into my head before I even put my feet to the floor.  I'm on my way to hold a cleaning class.  Last night I was thinking about cleaning.... apparently even in my dreams;-) After 27 plus years, cleaning has turned into more of a philosophy than chore.  

  How we treat our chores will tell us much about who we are... enjoy

   Friend or Foe?

Cleaning is your life traveling partner

She will become what you ask

You can think of her as a dreaded chore

Or a partner and friend

Treat her poorly and your life will crumble

Treat her with love and your spirit will thrive

You can give her an honored space in your life

Or you can stuff her in a dark closet, throw rags and toxins at her

You can desert her but only for a while

She needs care, but she doesn’t need fussing

She will warm your hands and soul during the dinner dishes

She will give you something to do when you lose your way

She will watch you throw your shoes in the closet

And she will smile as you gently place them there too

She watches sadly when you struggle and dances when you thrive

She can turn your home into an oasis or into a prison

She is a meditative practice

She is space to ponder

She will travel with you when you celebrate

She will be there when you cry

She is simple and nourishing

She can feel exasperating and perplexing

When treated well she will give you clarity and wisdom

When treated poorly she will muddle and tangle you

She is essential

She is steady

She asks for very little.

She will bless your home when thanked and loved

She is your traveling partner in this life

Treat her well and she will make your life sing

Make your choice- friend or foe?

Discover her magic and or live in her sorrow

Denise Frakes  cleaning poem from the wee hours of July 29- 2018

An Ounce of Prevention for Returns

Today I returned my blog to its original name:  An Ounce of Prevention.  On Oct 6th 2009, this blog was created. The following was my very first post.  I've been writing about cleaning, healthy and happy homes for a long time- 9 years!  I still love it.  I'm a cleaning, clutter clearing and happy home nerd!

"Yesterday afternoon, I had a call from a lady with travertine floors. Her dog had thrown up and in certain light she could see an etch mark. During our conversation I explained the care and characteristics of travertine. Travertine can be both acid sensitive and scratch sensitive. As we visited a light when on and she realized her house cleaner had just cleaned all of her travertine floors with vinegar! Her heart sank and so did mine.

Calls like this come in much too often. I love my builders, retailer and designers who call on me to teach their clients the care and characteristics of their new surfaces. This customer's frustration and future expense didn't have to happen. My caller could have provided her house cleaner with the correct cleaner and a phone number to us for any questions.

She voiced her frustration of not being taught the proper care and characteristics. I felt for her- I hate these calls. I love teaching and helping to avoid this very situation.

An ounce of prevention should be what we call our education services.

May you have happy homes,
Denise"

Why did I leave this name?  When we sold the tile and stone cleaning part of our company, I thought I should remake this blog.  You might have noticed the shifts and changes.  Nothing felt quite right and nothing stuck.  An Ounce of Prevention was always its name in my head.  This week, I was doing a cleaning demo class and I saw over and over again how at the heart of  cleaning is always prevention.  You wipe down your shower walls and prevent soap scum.  You ask before you use vinegar and save a lot of money and stress.  You pick up your house throughout the week and cleaning day and your chore is faster: prevention-prevention-prevention. See what I mean??

 Travertine Care reminder:  Vinegar has an acidic pH.  Travertine is acid sensitive.  Put them together and you have taken the top micro layer off your travertine.  Tip, unless you want to damage your beautiful travertine floors, countertops and showers, do not use an acidic cleaner to clean them.   Instead use a microfiber mop and if a cleaner is needed use a cleaner with a neutral to slightly alkaline pH. One preferably that doesn't leave a residue.  Call with Questions and call before you use a product your are not sure of.

As always, wishing you a happy and healthy home,
           Denise
Home and Personal Coach- 27 years experience and 9 years blogging

Making cleaning easy and fast tip.  Use less cleaner on your floors.  Cleaner's can build up a residue making your beautiful floors look dingy, muddled and gray.  Cleaning is about removal not addition.  Removing germs, dirt, schmutz is what cleaning is.  Also, use big tools, make each movement count and go floor tools with big heads.  Here is one of my favorite things- the 20 + inch superior mop form Norwex.  It comes with two heads- one for dusting and one for cleaning.  This product will not only save you time, but keep your floors crystal clean and beautiful. Click here to check out this microfiber mop.