the big question everyone should ask...the questions only you know the answer

"There is no greater gift, you can give or receive

than to honor your calling."  Oprah

What are you putting off that your soul, your spirit, your very essence wants you to do?  This week, I came across a question that stopped me in my tracks!

Whatever you are doing...or plan on doing, or are putting off doing...in 5 years if you do more of this thing....where will you be?  Will you be happier, healthier, kinder, prouder, freer, more loving, richer....?

It makes you ponder doesn't it?  No matter what anyone else thinks of our  actions, we all have an internal North Star that tells us if we are on the right path.  By asking this question...am I enhancing or diminishing my future by this action.  You will know.  We will know the answer.  

Going shopping, hitting the Amazon button, ordering a double cheese pizza, putting off calling a friend, staying up past or bedtime, heading out for a walk first thing in the dawn, writing on your porch on a Sunday afternoon after mowing the lawn.  Whatever you are doing or plan on doing...pause and ask this question.  In 5 years, if I continue doing _________ where will I be?  Will my internal essence, heart, my soul be cheering me on or sobbing?  

This question doesn't care how old we are, or what we did yesterday or 15 years ago.  It cares what we are doing right now and how we want to live in our own future.  Our current actions pave forward our future.   

Ask more questions!  Flush judgment down the drain!!  Judgement is wasted energy.  It does you no good.  How do you want your future to be?  A year from now, tomorrow morning?  

What do you truly love, what do you want to do with your beautiful life?  Our future is created day by day, moment by moment. Feeling stuck, of course, we all get stuck.  Just start with one little shift in a positive direction.  It can be microscopic...but headed towards a beautiful tomorrow.

It doesn't matter if your ______ is monumentally big or tiny....by taking a step in the right direction we begin.

Happy travels and questions,  Denise

Do not waste your Heart on fear!!

 "May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postpone my dream no longer,

But do at last what I came here for

And waste my heart no more on fear.

                    John O'Donohue

Can I get a YES?????????  We have got this.  Life, I mean.  Yes, there are things in the world that stink...but that does not give us the excuse of wasting this beautiful soul of ours to fear.  

What are we capable if we let go of fear and dream again?  

               Denise

The joy of work

 "It is the enjoyment of every step in the process of doing; everything not only the isolated piece we label art...  If you want to rush to the accomplishment, it is an inevitable disappointment. Then you rush to something else. The disappointment is repeated over and over again.  But if every step is pleasant, then the accomplishment becomes even more, because it is nourished by what is going on."

"All the stages of one's work have a poetic nature."

                                         Sue Bender  Plain and Simple

Clutter clearing gives you breathing space to live. And this is good.

But there is more.  When you learn how to make your daily work a practice of love, that's when you transcend your work into something extraordinary. 

When you can shift your work...no matter how ordinary, boring or below your pay grade.  When your work becomes your art. When you change the very nature of what you are doing. When you shift your long held beliefs about your work.   In this process, your work becomes healing.

If you would have said to me, what I just said to you when I was a girl on the farm, I would have fell into a heap of giggles and complete disbelief.  And yet, here I am, after 30 plus years of  this practice...sometimes kicking and screaming...I get it.  At least today I do.  

Our daily work is a practice.  Sometimes this work is a deep practice.  With one foot in front of the other through gritted teeth. But the art does happen.   Work becomes poetic. More and more frequently I feel it now.  Our daily work is the rhythm of our life.  It is an act of love.

This morning I was reminded of a great conversation I had with a wise client 13 years ago.  At that time,  I was just really beginning this deeper practice of home care. Little did I know where it would take me. Somehow the path just kept opening up to me as if saying "stay here, go deep, create art while you work, share it with kindred souls who think your crazy"!" And low and behold, here I am sharing this message with you my friend.

May your journey be sweet and long.  May your dishes be a time of joy, your pick up a space of gratitude and your vacuuming an act of love.  May you never "work" another day.

                                                       Denise Frakes... Life, home and work coach

8 delightful habits to cultivate...in your home...during a pandemic.

 The essential qualities that make a healthy home...are simply true.  These qualities are timeless.  They help us see beyond our current and into a world that is rich.  They help us create homes and families that are nourishing, healthy and sustaining.  I hope you enjoy these quotes that I've gathered for you.  

                                          Happy Holidays, from my home to yours,  Denise

1.   Simplify 

"Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it". – Joshua Becker

"Pare down to the essence, but don't remove the poetry. Keep things clean and unencumbered, but don't sterilize."  Leonard Koren  Wabi Sabi

2.   Tidy Up

"It is not our memories but the person we have become of those past experiences that we should treasure. This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us when we sort them. The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past"   Marie Kondo...the life changing Magic of Tidying up

3.    Breathe ...pause and breathe

“Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.”
― Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life

4.    Add in Splashes of Joy

“A body of research is emerging that demonstrates a clear link between our surroundings and our mental health. For example, studies show that people with sunny workspaces sleep better and laugh more than their peers in dimly lit offices, and that flowers improve not only people’s moods but their memory as well.”
― Ingrid Fetell Lee, Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness

"And what does it feel like?" we asked. "Well," she said, leaning over to us like a secret,  "it feels like a gust of wind blowing inside your heart. It feels like bright yellow paint." Monique Duval  The persistence of yellow

5.    Practice Gratitude

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” —Albert Einstein

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” —Charles Dickens

6.    Cultivate your Beauty Muscle

"Beauty is abundantly present. In old things, brown fields, weary days, prickly people...the art of beauty is learning to see beauty everywhere, in everyone, everyday.  Seeing beauty is a way of seeing, a muscle to strengthen."  Denise Frakes

"Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness...Wabi-Sabi suggests that beauty is a dynamic event that occurs between you and something else.  beauty can spontaneously occur at any moment given the proper circumstances, context, or point of view.  Beauty thus is an altered state of consciousness, an extraordinary moment of poetry and grace"  Leonard Koren Wabi Sabi for artists, designers, poets and philosophers

7.   Nature...bring it in and go outside 

“Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” –John Muir

“I go to Nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put together.” –John Burroughs

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” –Albert Einstein

8.   LOVE!!!

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

— Morrie Schwartz

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” 

— Helen Keller

Of all things...I believe in us.  I believe in bluebells, curious calves, and how the mundane acts of everyday..is where life can become rich...or dreary.

What you believe is an essential quality of a healthy home...and joyful life.

What do you believe in...?

         Denise

Clutter clearing is spiritual

Clutter clearing is spiritual.  Clutter effects us physically, mentally, emotionally...and spiritually.  When you walk into a room and your energy drops, your confidence fades and you can't breathe...this weight builds on and depletes your soul.  

I was drawn to my work in clutter clearing, not to create perfectly tidy homes but to create space for the beautiful souls that live there. 

There are no perfect homes but the souls that live there are naturally perfect.  We all have a story and an authentic calling.  My joy, my job is to see the beauty beyond the stuff. To support the path of each spirit that lives inside.  

By no means am I a perfect clutter clearer.  Heavens, I'm not perfect at anything.  Which in itself is perfect, because my work is not to fix but to uncover that which was there all along.  It takes one imperfectly...perfect soul to see that beauty in another

I believe in my heart, we are all beautiful, creative and important to this world.  When our souls and energies are depleted we don't shine.  Our authentic gifts get bogged down in life.  

Clutter clearing is a practical and incredibly effective practice to shift the energy of a home...and our lives in the process.  The magic of shifting a space, of releasing old memories, stuck energy, over stuffed places and general ugh.. is transformational.  

There is a physical response to a room being shifted, cleaned and uplifted. I can feel it in my body.  My breath expands- literally, it's like life rushes into my chest. 

When you clean and unclutter, when you open your windows and let fresh air in, you are creating flow for your spirit to awaken and thrive.   

 I write and talk on cleaning, tools, habits and healthy homes ... all of which are very important. But at the heart of my work, is not to help you create a shiny home but a shiny spirit.  A home that supports your authentic beautiful soul.  A home that is healthy, easy, nourishing and.. feels like a big breath of fresh air...and a cozy hug.

In this time of pandemics, wild fires and physical distancing, creating a space that lets you rest deeply and feel nourished is essential.  It's easy to gather up more things to fill voids and even get bogged down and not care for this space.   

So turn off the TV, turn on some music.  If the air is healthy outside, open up your windows wide and create a space for yourself...even a little shift.  A tiny space refreshed will have a profound effect on your spirit.  Clean off your desk, wash your sheets, take a shower, pick up your floors...it all matters!  If you need a little boost along the way, you know who to call.

     From my spirit to yours,  Denise

               

Everyone needs a little nook.. a tree house, a fort...

This week I had to slow down to a crawl.  With a foot injury, my daily travels came to a halt.   COVID had already slowed me down and then my body said...still slower Denise.  Ah...I'm not much of a slow mover or at least I didn't think so. 

 In my office I have a great window facing west.  My office didn't really have a seating area...but when I needed to slow down I created one.  I created a place to soak my foot and enjoy the sunshine or rain from my west window.

 

In creating this unconventional spa area...5 gallon bucket for my Epson salt baths...and all, ... I was transported back to my childhood.  As a kid I would set up the card table in the middle of the living room, throw a quilt over the top and create my own nook.  I had no formal training in nook building but there was something deep in my spirit that needed a nook of my own.

I would gather up treasures, books, things I loved and go under(table)  I was happy there.  I was free to ponder, discover.  I can't even explain what "it" is, except my happy spirit space.

To create this new space, I grabbed a wicker chair from my patio and got a 5 gallon bucket to soak my foot. I sit next to my books and treasures.  I'm tucked in a back corner a spot unused for daily life.  This is my nook.  It's not fancy or extravagant.  It didn't cost me a dime.  It must be good, Penny Kitty seem to get "it" instantly.

This weekend as I was nursing a soar foot, instead of having despair...I found joy.  I would go to my nook, with with my treasures and be.  I didn't see joy as a side effect from an injured food. By having to shift my life and slow down even slower than I was... I created my nook out of need.  It taught me what can happen when we slow down and create space.

Yesterday, as I was soaking my foot and a bit of Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance...you will never guess what I read about...yup... creating a nook of your own. June 10th...you can't make this stuff up.

A nook is more than a space to sit. It is permission to create, to explore, to be 10 years old again.  To play, to have a playhouse and let go of your actual house chores.  It is to be a kid again, free from adulthood, full of creative wonder and secret loves.  Not everything in life needs to make sense or be shared...sometimes we need a quiet space...a space we create as we go.  Simple - unconventional.  A place where our imaginations can turn a nook into world of adventure.

  If you come see my secret nook- will you be bedazzled?  Maybe, maybe not, who knows?  What's more important...will you want to go home and create a nook of your own?  Oh, I hope so!!

   I know we are in the middle of a Pandemic, an economic shut down and civil right re-creation...I also know my own business has shifted and my freedom to run...paused....  This is our life...but in the midst of life...isn't it essential to create a nook of our own?  A place we can be free to create, ponder, be true to our spirit.  

From this space...the rest of the world is easier.

Wishing you enriched journeys and a delightful nook of your own.

          Denise

Are you becoming a Zombie?

Are you the primary keeper of your home? Manager of your household?  Do you run a business, manage a staff? Are you the chief bottle washer and cook?  Maid, chauffer, bookkeeper and gardener?  Are you a caretaker?  Do you have a job that repeats itself everyday?
Do you feel like you are in the move Groundhog day?

If you said yet 2 or more of these read on...

Life, if not checked, can bring on a spirit diminishing residue, a life muck, a weight on our souls that can turn us into zombies.   If you want to become a zombie here you go...

10 easy tips to become a zombie

    1. Do get up and work all day until you fall into bed completely exhausted.
    2. Do the same schedule everyday: no variations- no flexibility- keep it ridged and serious!

    3. Do not ask for help, don't hire support. Do it all yourself!
    4. Do more than is humanly possible.  Feel free to wear yourself down completely

    5. Grumble openly or under your breath- it's perfectly fine to resent your life and family
    6. No matter what you do- don't have fun.  No spontaneous adventures!

    7. Don't simplify, unclutter or minimize your work. Buy more, work harder- not smarter!!
    8. Do hold a stern face as you clean, slump your shoulders as you cook and shuffle as you walk.

    9.  Eat crap- live on sugar!  Watch TV and stay inside!!!
   10. Do this repeatedly.  Don't change a thing.  Expect the same old thing everyday!

 This practice of becoming a zombie can take a lifetime to perfect.  The important thing to remember: if you want to become a zombie, you must repeatedly act the part.  It is easiest if you are super busy and are getting little sleep.  Perfect for new moms, caretakers and business owners. It's a little harder when you are playing and giving yourself a dose of daily TLC.  Still it is doable in any situation.  Practice does makes perfect!!

If you have become a zombie or on the way, there is an antidote so not to worry. The beauty of our spirit is it remains fully intact our entire lives.  We just need to scrub off the residue,   I will warn you cleaning off the muck may take effort. As you clean off life's residue- you can expect wonder, curiosity, clarity and delight re-appear.  I've seen this over and over again.

If you want to un-zombie your life, contact me... at info@dfbluesky.com
 I do warn you, un-zombie...ing your life brings a sparkle to your spirit.
               Denise
                      Coach and guide- home and life...at your service

There is Magic in Simplicity

Overly stuffed homes dull our spirits and muddle our brains
We spend our precious energy treading water
and chasing our tails

That's no way to live...…. 
 Join me this summer and find another way😊

   "Explore me, she whispered, "Peer behind the curtain, Look under the rock.  See what's really there."...

   "Believe me, I had no inkling when I started Simple Abundance that I was embarking on a safari to discover my authentic self.  To give you an idea of how little I knew in the beginning.  I thought I was conceiving a lifestyle book on downshifting."  
                                        Sarah Ban Breathnach- Simple Abundance August 18th

And here we start... summer 2019

  When we simplify, we look under our own rocks and find ourselves. Our spirits gets a jolt of oxygen.  Our wild, we thought we lost along the way...is hiding under our "too much" somewhere.....  Simplifying is a journey of the spirit.

with 28 years of helping families lighten up thier homes- of this I'm 100% sure.... 
  There is magic in simplifying, in lighting up our stuff, our thoughts and
 intentionally creating space to thrive in
 Our homes need flow!  We need space to breathe, time to ponder and wonder.

Don't let another summer pass you by. 
 Come with me this summer.
 We will declutter, downsize and simplify our lives.....
and ignite our delight.
Join me this summer on my Residue Free Facebook page for ideas, inspiration, play/workshop schedule and conversations!

Click Here to Join Me on Facebook 

Every great journey starts somewhere,
        Denise 

Rebooting time is a human requirement

We are like computers.  

Just like computers, we periodically need to unplug, turn everything off and reboot. 

 Rebooting time is a human requirement- period!

Like computers, we are electrically charged.

  Too much electricity flowing through our brains gets wild- unruly

Our homes get messy, our thoughts muddled, our actions frantic or sludgy.

As a coach and human, one of my most effective rebooting tools is...cleaning and organizing. 

  Resetting your home or space is not a chore.  It is a effective rebooting tool. 

 The home reboot is a natural form of meditation - a grounding practice. 

Cleaning and uncluttering are restorative reboots. 

 They are forms of space clearing.

 You actively move around your home curiously, thoughtfully- unplugged 

returning life gone astray back to its home

Removing life schmutz

Clutter is a sign we need a reboot

Clutter comes in many forms.  Time clutter, stuff clutter, thought clutter

 Having no pause in our lives is like having no pauses between notes in a song

    New Year Goal: Rebooting time

       Natural pauses to reset your life.  

Reboot with thoughtful pauses:

  freetime, picking up the house, playtime, quiet time, personal time, micro-vacation time,
 cleaning your desk time, time to wonder and ponder, organize your pantry,
go outside, sort your books, sit on the porch, curiously free time

Rebooting time is a human requirement

 

 If we don't reboot, our energy gets wild, frantic - exhausted

 We start chasing squirrels

Reboots are recess for the mind, body and spirit

Reboot:  breathing space... space to play, mind travel and come back to life - refreshed

Create natural rebooting time in 2019.  Your electrical system and essence will thank you,

May your travels be refreshing and your homes nourishing,
            Denise

Cleaning Friend or Foe?

 This morning a poem popped into my head before I even put my feet to the floor.  I'm on my way to hold a cleaning class.  Last night I was thinking about cleaning.... apparently even in my dreams;-) After 27 plus years, cleaning has turned into more of a philosophy than chore.  

  How we treat our chores will tell us much about who we are... enjoy

   Friend or Foe?

Cleaning is your life traveling partner

She will become what you ask

You can think of her as a dreaded chore

Or a partner and friend

Treat her poorly and your life will crumble

Treat her with love and your spirit will thrive

You can give her an honored space in your life

Or you can stuff her in a dark closet, throw rags and toxins at her

You can desert her but only for a while

She needs care, but she doesn’t need fussing

She will warm your hands and soul during the dinner dishes

She will give you something to do when you lose your way

She will watch you throw your shoes in the closet

And she will smile as you gently place them there too

She watches sadly when you struggle and dances when you thrive

She can turn your home into an oasis or into a prison

She is a meditative practice

She is space to ponder

She will travel with you when you celebrate

She will be there when you cry

She is simple and nourishing

She can feel exasperating and perplexing

When treated well she will give you clarity and wisdom

When treated poorly she will muddle and tangle you

She is essential

She is steady

She asks for very little.

She will bless your home when thanked and loved

She is your traveling partner in this life

Treat her well and she will make your life sing

Make your choice- friend or foe?

Discover her magic and or live in her sorrow

Denise Frakes  cleaning poem from the wee hours of July 29- 2018

Breathing....to find your joy

Breathe in....Breathe out

Buy beautiful materials.....Create

Gather ideas... Give them wings

I think we get stuck.  We have an abundance of resources in our country.  We are rich and yet we are also poor.  Because we have the gift of abundance we can forget there is always a balance to life.  In getting there must be a release. 

Clutter clearing isn't about deprivation it is about balancing and completing the cycle.  We can't just breathe in...we need to release and breath out.  It is on the out breath that we find happiness.

Inhale....Exhale...Inhale...Exhale... Ahhhhh ;-)

       Wishing you joy in your completions, your releasing and the epiphanies and blessings that come from both
                         Denise

Senseless Acts of Beauty

Yesterday, I was working with a client and dear friend.  Clutter clearing tends to do that...create friends.  Anyway, during our downsizing travels we came upon an old bumper sticker.  I have heard the phrase of practicing random acts of kindness lots of time which is great message.   But on this particular bumper sticker was the addition of ..
and Senseless Acts of Beauty.

There is something in those simple lines that has struck a cord with me.  Senseless Acts of Beauty.. I'm not even sure what it means but I do know it is magnificent to the soul.

   What is a Senseless Act of Beauty and how often do you Practice Senseless Acts of Beauty?

Today is Saturday.  I'm working and I will also be discovering and practicing this idea and the uncharted territory of Senseless Acts of Beauty.

This is why we let go and clean out our homes...to discover what lights up our souls...
     
As Always, I wish you a happy home and today may I add Senseless Acts of Beauty,
            Denise