the big question everyone should ask...the questions only you know the answer

"There is no greater gift, you can give or receive

than to honor your calling."  Oprah

What are you putting off that your soul, your spirit, your very essence wants you to do?  This week, I came across a question that stopped me in my tracks!

Whatever you are doing...or plan on doing, or are putting off doing...in 5 years if you do more of this thing....where will you be?  Will you be happier, healthier, kinder, prouder, freer, more loving, richer....?

It makes you ponder doesn't it?  No matter what anyone else thinks of our  actions, we all have an internal North Star that tells us if we are on the right path.  By asking this question...am I enhancing or diminishing my future by this action.  You will know.  We will know the answer.  

Going shopping, hitting the Amazon button, ordering a double cheese pizza, putting off calling a friend, staying up past or bedtime, heading out for a walk first thing in the dawn, writing on your porch on a Sunday afternoon after mowing the lawn.  Whatever you are doing or plan on doing...pause and ask this question.  In 5 years, if I continue doing _________ where will I be?  Will my internal essence, heart, my soul be cheering me on or sobbing?  

This question doesn't care how old we are, or what we did yesterday or 15 years ago.  It cares what we are doing right now and how we want to live in our own future.  Our current actions pave forward our future.   

Ask more questions!  Flush judgment down the drain!!  Judgement is wasted energy.  It does you no good.  How do you want your future to be?  A year from now, tomorrow morning?  

What do you truly love, what do you want to do with your beautiful life?  Our future is created day by day, moment by moment. Feeling stuck, of course, we all get stuck.  Just start with one little shift in a positive direction.  It can be microscopic...but headed towards a beautiful tomorrow.

It doesn't matter if your ______ is monumentally big or tiny....by taking a step in the right direction we begin.

Happy travels and questions,  Denise

Do not waste your Heart on fear!!

 "May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postpone my dream no longer,

But do at last what I came here for

And waste my heart no more on fear.

                    John O'Donohue

Can I get a YES?????????  We have got this.  Life, I mean.  Yes, there are things in the world that stink...but that does not give us the excuse of wasting this beautiful soul of ours to fear.  

What are we capable if we let go of fear and dream again?  

               Denise

The joy of work

 "It is the enjoyment of every step in the process of doing; everything not only the isolated piece we label art...  If you want to rush to the accomplishment, it is an inevitable disappointment. Then you rush to something else. The disappointment is repeated over and over again.  But if every step is pleasant, then the accomplishment becomes even more, because it is nourished by what is going on."

"All the stages of one's work have a poetic nature."

                                         Sue Bender  Plain and Simple

Clutter clearing gives you breathing space to live. And this is good.

But there is more.  When you learn how to make your daily work a practice of love, that's when you transcend your work into something extraordinary. 

When you can shift your work...no matter how ordinary, boring or below your pay grade.  When your work becomes your art. When you change the very nature of what you are doing. When you shift your long held beliefs about your work.   In this process, your work becomes healing.

If you would have said to me, what I just said to you when I was a girl on the farm, I would have fell into a heap of giggles and complete disbelief.  And yet, here I am, after 30 plus years of  this practice...sometimes kicking and screaming...I get it.  At least today I do.  

Our daily work is a practice.  Sometimes this work is a deep practice.  With one foot in front of the other through gritted teeth. But the art does happen.   Work becomes poetic. More and more frequently I feel it now.  Our daily work is the rhythm of our life.  It is an act of love.

This morning I was reminded of a great conversation I had with a wise client 13 years ago.  At that time,  I was just really beginning this deeper practice of home care. Little did I know where it would take me. Somehow the path just kept opening up to me as if saying "stay here, go deep, create art while you work, share it with kindred souls who think your crazy"!" And low and behold, here I am sharing this message with you my friend.

May your journey be sweet and long.  May your dishes be a time of joy, your pick up a space of gratitude and your vacuuming an act of love.  May you never "work" another day.

                                                       Denise Frakes... Life, home and work coach

Clutter clearing is spiritual

Clutter clearing is spiritual.  Clutter effects us physically, mentally, emotionally...and spiritually.  When you walk into a room and your energy drops, your confidence fades and you can't breathe...this weight builds on and depletes your soul.  

I was drawn to my work in clutter clearing, not to create perfectly tidy homes but to create space for the beautiful souls that live there. 

There are no perfect homes but the souls that live there are naturally perfect.  We all have a story and an authentic calling.  My joy, my job is to see the beauty beyond the stuff. To support the path of each spirit that lives inside.  

By no means am I a perfect clutter clearer.  Heavens, I'm not perfect at anything.  Which in itself is perfect, because my work is not to fix but to uncover that which was there all along.  It takes one imperfectly...perfect soul to see that beauty in another

I believe in my heart, we are all beautiful, creative and important to this world.  When our souls and energies are depleted we don't shine.  Our authentic gifts get bogged down in life.  

Clutter clearing is a practical and incredibly effective practice to shift the energy of a home...and our lives in the process.  The magic of shifting a space, of releasing old memories, stuck energy, over stuffed places and general ugh.. is transformational.  

There is a physical response to a room being shifted, cleaned and uplifted. I can feel it in my body.  My breath expands- literally, it's like life rushes into my chest. 

When you clean and unclutter, when you open your windows and let fresh air in, you are creating flow for your spirit to awaken and thrive.   

 I write and talk on cleaning, tools, habits and healthy homes ... all of which are very important. But at the heart of my work, is not to help you create a shiny home but a shiny spirit.  A home that supports your authentic beautiful soul.  A home that is healthy, easy, nourishing and.. feels like a big breath of fresh air...and a cozy hug.

In this time of pandemics, wild fires and physical distancing, creating a space that lets you rest deeply and feel nourished is essential.  It's easy to gather up more things to fill voids and even get bogged down and not care for this space.   

So turn off the TV, turn on some music.  If the air is healthy outside, open up your windows wide and create a space for yourself...even a little shift.  A tiny space refreshed will have a profound effect on your spirit.  Clean off your desk, wash your sheets, take a shower, pick up your floors...it all matters!  If you need a little boost along the way, you know who to call.

     From my spirit to yours,  Denise

               

Everyone needs a little nook.. a tree house, a fort...

This week I had to slow down to a crawl.  With a foot injury, my daily travels came to a halt.   COVID had already slowed me down and then my body said...still slower Denise.  Ah...I'm not much of a slow mover or at least I didn't think so. 

 In my office I have a great window facing west.  My office didn't really have a seating area...but when I needed to slow down I created one.  I created a place to soak my foot and enjoy the sunshine or rain from my west window.

 

In creating this unconventional spa area...5 gallon bucket for my Epson salt baths...and all, ... I was transported back to my childhood.  As a kid I would set up the card table in the middle of the living room, throw a quilt over the top and create my own nook.  I had no formal training in nook building but there was something deep in my spirit that needed a nook of my own.

I would gather up treasures, books, things I loved and go under(table)  I was happy there.  I was free to ponder, discover.  I can't even explain what "it" is, except my happy spirit space.

To create this new space, I grabbed a wicker chair from my patio and got a 5 gallon bucket to soak my foot. I sit next to my books and treasures.  I'm tucked in a back corner a spot unused for daily life.  This is my nook.  It's not fancy or extravagant.  It didn't cost me a dime.  It must be good, Penny Kitty seem to get "it" instantly.

This weekend as I was nursing a soar foot, instead of having despair...I found joy.  I would go to my nook, with with my treasures and be.  I didn't see joy as a side effect from an injured food. By having to shift my life and slow down even slower than I was... I created my nook out of need.  It taught me what can happen when we slow down and create space.

Yesterday, as I was soaking my foot and a bit of Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance...you will never guess what I read about...yup... creating a nook of your own. June 10th...you can't make this stuff up.

A nook is more than a space to sit. It is permission to create, to explore, to be 10 years old again.  To play, to have a playhouse and let go of your actual house chores.  It is to be a kid again, free from adulthood, full of creative wonder and secret loves.  Not everything in life needs to make sense or be shared...sometimes we need a quiet space...a space we create as we go.  Simple - unconventional.  A place where our imaginations can turn a nook into world of adventure.

  If you come see my secret nook- will you be bedazzled?  Maybe, maybe not, who knows?  What's more important...will you want to go home and create a nook of your own?  Oh, I hope so!!

   I know we are in the middle of a Pandemic, an economic shut down and civil right re-creation...I also know my own business has shifted and my freedom to run...paused....  This is our life...but in the midst of life...isn't it essential to create a nook of our own?  A place we can be free to create, ponder, be true to our spirit.  

From this space...the rest of the world is easier.

Wishing you enriched journeys and a delightful nook of your own.

          Denise

Habits of Happiness ... or Habits of Ruin?

Have you ever considered home chores as habits?  This is the kind of stuff I ponder every day.  Why do we do what we do and is there a better way?  Last night I did a presentation on clutter for the city of Federal Way.  Most of my talk was on habits...because....

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

By shifting our habits we create our future.  For some, the daily grind of caring for a home becomes a depleting burden... by shifting our habits we can take what we thought of as a chore and turn it into a practice that works for us. 

Life is precious.  Let your habits work for you.

Action:  Notice what you do, how you think about your home? What habits do you have?  This is where I can help.  We rarely see ourselves.  It's a blessing and curse.  By having an outside and kindly soul help you see, you get to start shifting and creating a life and home you love.

     happy habits...lead to happy lives,

          Denise Frakes

               Home and life coach at your service

Use your chores to make your New Year's Resolutions stick

  I know I've talked about our chores as a gold mine of possibilities before... for years.  As this new year cycled around I read that the average New Year's Resolution only lasts 18 days.  Not only that but we keep repeating those same resolutions 10 times with no success!  I was lightning struck!

    A friend of ours was at the gym the other day. Normally, gyms are notorious for being packed with New Year's Resolutions... not this year. It was empty. I think we are giving up.  We know new years resolutions don't work... And they don't...unless you give them a home. 

Don't give up on your dreams.  Dreaming is essential to being alive

For our New Year's Resolutions to succeed...we need to think habit. 
We need to give our dreams a home

   It doesn't matter how busy we are …. we all have habits.  One place we overlook as a help is our  home habits, life chore habits... These old chore habits can give us the space, time and focus we need to create the life we dream of.  One secret to making a new habit attach it to an existing habit...

Did you know...

  "On average 40% of all daily human activities are habits"

And from of a study of 50,000 American families - 

Our habits are pretty much set by the time we are 9 years old!

                                                           Tom Corley's Book: Change your habits, change your life

Habit:  consistent and persistent practices, routines and tendencies

 done overtime that become automatic

Our success and failure are dictated by our habits. 

   Healthy habits uplift our lives bringing us happiness and success 

 Poor habits throw us under the bus causing stress and failure

What does this have to do with resolutions and chores?  Everything!!!!! 
Our probability of sticking with a New Year's resolution is more about our habits than our will power..

     We are creatures of habit.  

Three ways to let your chores...support your dreams

1.
Realize we have a gold mine of existing habits in place.  We have space to create new habits.  

Use our ingrained healthy habits as triggers to create more healthy habits.

2. 

 Take your dreams and simplify them into daily bite sized actions 

3. 

Attach these daily actions to a current habit..  Stay consistent with an action toward your goal for at least 66 days and wala…  
your chances of actually seeing your dream come into reality... sky rockets!

Start Here:  First we have to notice our own habits.  What is familiar is lost to us.. 40% of our actions are unconscious- habitual actions.  For 2-3 days simply notice your own habits.  Ask questions... Notice...What do you do everyday?  Which habits are brilliant, supportive and which are un-necessary or even detrimental to the life you dream of?  What do you do at specific times of day, when you wake up, get home from work, after supper?  Pick a habit that works and add your new habit to this one. Keep it simple, doable in any weather and life happenings.

Happy New Year!  

    Denise Frakes  Life and Home Coach for Creating Space

FYI:  If you want to hear more from me, hire me to speak or as your own personal coach. Buy products or books (if they support you) through my site (I'm an affiliate of Amazon and sell Norwex)  Please share my posts and let me know how your doing.   We are here to work together- thank you and happy New Year!

Cozy for the holidays- Curiously Cozy

I'm reading this great book called Cozy: The art of arranging yourself in the world by Isabel Gillies

On a quick side note, did you know there is a society called the Pencil appreciation Society?  To be a member you have to fill out at 3 page questionnaire and write three essays!  How super cool and totally weird is that?  Cozy covers this society!  And yes, these are the kinds of books I read for the pure joy of it.  

Anyway, in Cozy, Isabel is exploring what cozy is and how to cultivate it in our lives, throughout our lives, no matter what is going on- holidays, social media, politics, life, colds.  Life needs cozy.  We need to know how to make our lives cozy in any weather and season.

Cozy doors ..Isn't this a great picture??  Not sure of it's source but whoever took it- thank you!!

  Her questions got me thinking, even more than normal about homes, holidays, hot chocolate and cleaning.  This morning as I was cleaning, I thought, yes, a clean home does feel cozy.  A tidy and nourished home makes me feel cozy for sure.  I also love having creative projects and energy in my homes.  A cozy home needs room for messes and play. I love a home with little surprises scattered about and big love.  A home with healthy and delicious food ready to eat and a fully stocked frig and pantry is cozy.

What makes us feel cozy?  What is cozy?  Do you ever even think about being cozy?  Until I started this book, I'm not sure that cozy was even something I thought about.  Now I'm cozy curious.  When do I feel cozy?  What do I do that makes me feel un-cozy?  Is that even a word?  If not, it is now! Ha

The holiday season is here.  As I type, it's 5;09 Thanksgiving eve.  This year, instead of following the crowd, I want to focus on creating a cozy, a curiously cozy season.  Which means, exploring what I truly love of this season and the holidays.  What memories make me feel warm and loved? Does my home feel cozy to my family to visitors?  I'm exploring new cozy ways.  I don't really have a plan.   Ignite our cozy- I think you get it.

Here's to a season of cozy exploration:  cozy books, cozy suppers, cozy traditions, cozy places, cozy friendships, cozy mornings, cozy socks ….

Happy Travels, may your home always feel cozy to you and those you love
             Denise

Perfect cleaning is irritating to the soul

 

Cleaning is a means to enhance the happiness and health of life and home.  It isn't perfection or judgment.  I don't aim for a perfect home and as I look around my home today, I'm happily enjoying today...and my house is messy.  It will get rebooted but not at this moment..

When you visit a home and it's out of order...smile and love the person.  Smile at your instincts that might judge and realize they are probably generations old.

It's time to let go of judgment and love what is.  Creating a home that is healthy and happy is the goal.  Perfection is irritating to the soul.  Embracing the art of imperfection is a kinder place to live.

Just a thought from one beautifully imperfect soul to another

              Denise

          

Housework- burnout. It's real

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  there is a sparkle in their presence.  When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety.  Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                       Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188

Clean toilets aren't sexy but matter.  Have you ever got sick and headed for the toilet?  Cleaning matters. It's also a life chore.  A life chore is a daily or weekly chore that repeats, repeats and repeats.  They never finish. Household chores travel under the radar- no parade or wow moments...they are essential and consistent.  They plod along year after year.

 Left uncared for, life chores will wear on our spirits and vitality.  Think about it cleaning & cooking every day, every week for the next 60 years... The doer of these quiet chores is going to need a little love. If not cared for homes feel neglected, clutter builds.  The caretaker heavy sighs and hangs their shoulders.

  My grandma Lois was uncommonly wise in her household chores.  She hired what she could, simplified the rest. She had grandpa do the outside work and grocery shopping. Her work was rhythmic- Saturday was laundry, dinner dishes were done and kitchen put to bed each night. As far as I know, she mostly woke up to a clean and tidy kitchen.   On Friday and Saturday nights, she took a breather and had my grandpa take her out to dinner.  Sunday night was called chef's night off.  Dinner was always popcorn and apples.  
I remember visiting her when she was in her 90s.  There were chores I wanted to help her with. She said, "let them wait, they will still be here tomorrow, I would rather spend time with you now."

Does clutter builds because we are just tired of fiddling with our stuff?

House Cleaning/Chore Burnout is real and more common than you think

Life burnout isn't just from your job... It comes from life.  Residue free living is cultivating habits and actions that keep your spirit joyful throughout your entire life.  So at the end of our life, when there are still bills to be paid, toilets to clean and meals to be created... our spirits will still shine, our laughter light and bubbling, ours hearts is still open and full of joy.  This is what residue free living is. It is the process of renewal of our mind, body, and spirit through life- no matter what the weather and what year of cleaning you are on.  Residue free is learning skills and habits that will make your work easier, more productive and more delightful.

This month I challenge you to lighten up your chores, your clutter.  Delegate what you can, hire help, reduce work, share work and let go of what is weighing you down.  Schedule days off.  Schedule play.  Add in splashes of color, delight, fresh flowers, curiosities and surprises for the spirit.  

residue free living 

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  

there is a sparkle in their presence.  

When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety. 

 Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                           Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188
           
                                            Happy Travels,
                                                 Denise- Residue free coach of home and life
                                                     There is not time life the present to change our future

Are you becoming a Zombie?

Are you the primary keeper of your home? Manager of your household?  Do you run a business, manage a staff? Are you the chief bottle washer and cook?  Maid, chauffer, bookkeeper and gardener?  Are you a caretaker?  Do you have a job that repeats itself everyday?
Do you feel like you are in the move Groundhog day?

If you said yet 2 or more of these read on...

Life, if not checked, can bring on a spirit diminishing residue, a life muck, a weight on our souls that can turn us into zombies.   If you want to become a zombie here you go...

10 easy tips to become a zombie

    1. Do get up and work all day until you fall into bed completely exhausted.
    2. Do the same schedule everyday: no variations- no flexibility- keep it ridged and serious!

    3. Do not ask for help, don't hire support. Do it all yourself!
    4. Do more than is humanly possible.  Feel free to wear yourself down completely

    5. Grumble openly or under your breath- it's perfectly fine to resent your life and family
    6. No matter what you do- don't have fun.  No spontaneous adventures!

    7. Don't simplify, unclutter or minimize your work. Buy more, work harder- not smarter!!
    8. Do hold a stern face as you clean, slump your shoulders as you cook and shuffle as you walk.

    9.  Eat crap- live on sugar!  Watch TV and stay inside!!!
   10. Do this repeatedly.  Don't change a thing.  Expect the same old thing everyday!

 This practice of becoming a zombie can take a lifetime to perfect.  The important thing to remember: if you want to become a zombie, you must repeatedly act the part.  It is easiest if you are super busy and are getting little sleep.  Perfect for new moms, caretakers and business owners. It's a little harder when you are playing and giving yourself a dose of daily TLC.  Still it is doable in any situation.  Practice does makes perfect!!

If you have become a zombie or on the way, there is an antidote so not to worry. The beauty of our spirit is it remains fully intact our entire lives.  We just need to scrub off the residue,   I will warn you cleaning off the muck may take effort. As you clean off life's residue- you can expect wonder, curiosity, clarity and delight re-appear.  I've seen this over and over again.

If you want to un-zombie your life, contact me... at info@dfbluesky.com
 I do warn you, un-zombie...ing your life brings a sparkle to your spirit.
               Denise
                      Coach and guide- home and life...at your service

Got Paper Clutter??? Get Help!

  Do you ever get overwhelmed looking at your piles of paper, bulging boxes, overflowing bookcases, stuffed closets? 

 Yup- I get it!  Paper clutter is exhausting!  

 It stagnates your life and deplete your energy.  It feels slow, unproductive and heavy.
 But, you already know this. 

Life is too short to be depleted by piles of paper and boxes of muddle thoughts.

 How many years have you been hoping -
 dreaming this would be the year you finally got rid of all those boxes and piles??

  Waking up and going to bed in a cluttered space depletes our spirit, mind, body, emotions.. and relationships. (with yourself and those you love).
You deserve better

  Three services I offer to help you lighten up.

1. Personal coaching at your home/business- hands on help and guidance

2. Virtual coaching and accountability support

3.  Summer- master mind group- (scroll down to get flyer)  support with a team
                                 Think how great it will feel to end the summer with less clutter?

Yours truly, Denise Frakes

Coach /Guide 
dfbluesky@yahoo.com
Helping you unclutter your home, simplify your life and ignite your spirit 

.

            Summer Mastermind Flyer- come join us!

There is Magic in Simplicity

Overly stuffed homes dull our spirits and muddle our brains
We spend our precious energy treading water
and chasing our tails

That's no way to live...…. 
 Join me this summer and find another way😊

   "Explore me, she whispered, "Peer behind the curtain, Look under the rock.  See what's really there."...

   "Believe me, I had no inkling when I started Simple Abundance that I was embarking on a safari to discover my authentic self.  To give you an idea of how little I knew in the beginning.  I thought I was conceiving a lifestyle book on downshifting."  
                                        Sarah Ban Breathnach- Simple Abundance August 18th

And here we start... summer 2019

  When we simplify, we look under our own rocks and find ourselves. Our spirits gets a jolt of oxygen.  Our wild, we thought we lost along the way...is hiding under our "too much" somewhere.....  Simplifying is a journey of the spirit.

with 28 years of helping families lighten up thier homes- of this I'm 100% sure.... 
  There is magic in simplifying, in lighting up our stuff, our thoughts and
 intentionally creating space to thrive in
 Our homes need flow!  We need space to breathe, time to ponder and wonder.

Don't let another summer pass you by. 
 Come with me this summer.
 We will declutter, downsize and simplify our lives.....
and ignite our delight.
Join me this summer on my Residue Free Facebook page for ideas, inspiration, play/workshop schedule and conversations!

Click Here to Join Me on Facebook 

Every great journey starts somewhere,
        Denise 

Use Compasionate Clutter Clearing

Practice Compassion as you Clear your Clutter

 In a perfect world nothing would ever side track our lives. We would always have an abundance of energy, time and support.  Our focus would be clear, simple and direct. Our hearts open and light.  And of course joy would bubble up from our core...however...

In the real world, our lives take unexpected turns.  We travel down paths without maps.  When life happens, we do the best we can.  Sometimes our home's upkeep falls off.  Sometimes our own upkeep falls off...

If your life got a bit off course, be kind to yourself.  And if you know someone whose life isn't perfect... be kind to them too.

It it's easy to think what we would do if x, y or z happens, but until you experience life dead on, we don't know.  Every story has … the rest of the story.

If you are reading this and your feel like your home is too full, heavy and overwhelming.  Please take a deep breath and send a little TLC inward.  Your home is not you, it is not your character or your soul.  It is a big box that takes a lot of work to maintain.  And our culture is loaded with enticing ways to fill it up.

 If you are feeling overwhelmed are not alone.  You have kindred spirits all over this country feeling the same as you.  Storage units are popping up everywhere for a reason.

  Uncluttering gives you your life back.  It gives you energy, hope and space to breathe.  It is a type of non-therapy- therapy.  As you sort, simplify and un-muddle your stuff, you rediscover and discover your life.  Uncluttering is powerful.

Compassionate uncluttering

1.  Be compassionate to yourself and those around you as you sort  Spend 99% of your time saying thank you and less than 1% condemning yourself.  It's a much better use of your time.

2.  Get professional help.  I can't stress this enough.  Getting unstuck is a million times easier, faster and more enjoyable with compassionate, energetic and supportive help.  Professional help, the compassionate kind, works with you from an unjudgmental space- cheering you forward.  When I work with my client's I think of myself more as a guide.

3.  Create focus.  Work in time blocks.  Be focused for 45 minutes take 5 minutes to refresh and reboot. Clutter muddles our thoughts.  To un-muddle we need clarity.  Work in clear blocks in specific spaces.  Stay focused and well hydrated!!

4. Be consistent and persistent in your uncluttering.  When you are making steady progress you will continue to gain energy and your habits and skills will improve.  Progress empowers you forward and naturally reduces stress. Schedule time, set an appointment with your coach or help.

5.  Use your words wisely  Listen to yourself.  What words are you using?  What metaphors are you creating?   Words are powerful.  Use words that empower, support, appreciate you and appreciate the winding life you have led.  Talk to yourself, like you would talk to a dear friend.

Our homes are shields that protect us.  Make your shield kind and compassionate.  Create a home where you feel loved and supported.  A space where you can open the door and feel nourished.  A space to invite in kindred spirits for a cup of tea and a good chat.
A magical being isn't going to blink away your clutter...but as you clean it away uncluttering becomes a magical experience.

Travel kindly,  Denise Frakes
    Life and Home Coach 

 Get support as you create a space and home you love!!

May's Classes by yours truly;-)

 Residue Free Cleaning Class May 16th at Marlene's in Federal Way.  Sign up here 

Create a Wabi Sabi Home Class May 28th at the Federal Way Naturopathy  Sign up here 

5 ways to effectively use or not use storage units

Have you noticed the number of new storage rental spaces going up?  There are 3 big storage facilities currently under construction close to my home.  Extra storage has its advantages but before you decide invest in a storage unit... read on.

The self storage business has become a $38 billion dollar business.  Which is fantastic if you own or invest in storage facilities.  Not so great if you are one of their customers.

For the last 10 plus years, I have coached and supported families in uncluttering and simplifying their homes and lives.  I'll be the first to recommend a storage unit when it actually supports the family, but in most cases a storage unit will become a long term burden, both financially and emotionally.

There is a law of physics that says:

 Things in motion tend to stay in motion, things at rest, tend to stay at rest. 

 Storage units puts our things at rest...and there they sit.

There is a good reason the storage unit business is booming.  First, as a culture we are exploding with extra stuff:  our memorabilia, our kid's stuff, our parent's stuff, our business stuff, our hobby stuff, our home remodeling stuff, I'll get to it soon stuff, and our not sure what to do with stuff.  You get the picture.

 Once our stuff gets removed from our home and into a big metal box...it usually stays there - sometimes for years and years.

5 ways to effectively use or not use storage units

1.  Always have a plan and exit strategy  Be very clear why you are getting a storage unit and have a exit date from the beginning.

2.  Use storage unit for transitions  moving/remodeling your home, families in transition, kids in transition.  By using a storage unit verses filling up your own home, you keep from overwhelming your life with other peoples stuff.  It's hard to remove other peoples things from your home once they have taken root.  Again, have an exit strategy upfront.

3. Use the storage unit to support tiny homes  I have several clients who live in tiny spaces- boats, condo's etc.  In this case, think of your storage unit as another room.  Create this space as a working space.  Put like with like and let it be a workable addition to your home.  Add the cost of the storage unit in your budget as part of your rent/ home cost.

4. Thoughtfully create the storage unit as a working space  Don't just throw in boxes.  Organize by category- think like with like.  Put your taxes all together, your suitcases together, your grandmothers dishes together.  Label clearly and with detail.  If you can, put boxes around edges so you can find and sort your stuff with little effort.  The more inviting the storage unit, the more likely you will be to use and downsize the space.

5.  Downsize instead of storing If you are feeling overwhelmed in your own home, a storage unit won't make it all go away.  Consider hiring help to downsize your home.  The money and effort spent in uncluttering and simplifying your life is worth a 1000 storage units.  If you find it difficult to unclutter your home...you will find it even harder to dig out from a storage unit.  An ounce of prevention is priceless.

If you need help, get support.  Many hands do in fact make more effective work.  With help in downsizing, your focus and efforts are exponentially improved.  The freedom you gain is priceless.  My own specialty is making work fun, keeping your stress at ease and regaining your life.  When you are having a good time, work stops being work.  While we work we create a healthy nourishing home and discovering your new life... free of stuff.

Happy travels,
             Denise Frakes
                  Coach for home and life

Uncluttered Happiness

Deciding which direction to go isn't as important as making a decision.  The same goes for deciding what to keep and what to let go of.  A clear decision can make you happier than having too many options.  Our state of happiness is more resilient than we give it credit for.

This morning as I was researching for another blog, I came across a review of Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk on the Science of Happiness.  Dan shares insights into what I have witnessed time after time in my coaching practice.  We get lost in the details.  Afraid to make the wrong choice or take the wrong path.  As it turns out, no matter which way we decide, the science of happiness supports our happiness level.  We are naturally resilient.

To watch the Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk Click here

The next time you are trying to decide what book to keep, which restaurant to visit or even which dream to follow... watch this talk.  The decision may not be as important as you think.  Wrong or right, it will have little impact on your long term happiness.

I find this study incredibly calming to my worries of life.  No matter what happens, in 3 months, I'll be back to my current level of happiness.  Good to know...

Happiness is more of a habit than singular event

    Happy New Year!  Here's to living light and clear this year!
                            Denise

                           Talk about resiliency!  Dandelions can bloom even in Winter!!

Rebooting time is a human requirement

We are like computers.  

Just like computers, we periodically need to unplug, turn everything off and reboot. 

 Rebooting time is a human requirement- period!

Like computers, we are electrically charged.

  Too much electricity flowing through our brains gets wild- unruly

Our homes get messy, our thoughts muddled, our actions frantic or sludgy.

As a coach and human, one of my most effective rebooting tools is...cleaning and organizing. 

  Resetting your home or space is not a chore.  It is a effective rebooting tool. 

 The home reboot is a natural form of meditation - a grounding practice. 

Cleaning and uncluttering are restorative reboots. 

 They are forms of space clearing.

 You actively move around your home curiously, thoughtfully- unplugged 

returning life gone astray back to its home

Removing life schmutz

Clutter is a sign we need a reboot

Clutter comes in many forms.  Time clutter, stuff clutter, thought clutter

 Having no pause in our lives is like having no pauses between notes in a song

    New Year Goal: Rebooting time

       Natural pauses to reset your life.  

Reboot with thoughtful pauses:

  freetime, picking up the house, playtime, quiet time, personal time, micro-vacation time,
 cleaning your desk time, time to wonder and ponder, organize your pantry,
go outside, sort your books, sit on the porch, curiously free time

Rebooting time is a human requirement

 

 If we don't reboot, our energy gets wild, frantic - exhausted

 We start chasing squirrels

Reboots are recess for the mind, body and spirit

Reboot:  breathing space... space to play, mind travel and come back to life - refreshed

Create natural rebooting time in 2019.  Your electrical system and essence will thank you,

May your travels be refreshing and your homes nourishing,
            Denise

How to motivate your cleaning...Thanksgiving tip

There are very few things that will motivate cleaning and decluttering a house like company coming does.  If you need motivation to get your house clean - schedule a party.  For the past 4 years we have hosted our family Thanksgiving Day the second sat of November.  This year our little party has expanded to 28 people and two dogs.

Before the big day, I found myself digging into the corners of my home. I cleaned out under sinks, in drawers and through cupboards.  I know my family isn't coming to give me the white glove treatment.  They know me way too well for that!

I clean mainly for me.  This may sound selfish but in reality it is the best gift I can give.  I'm more at ease with a rebooted and refreshed home.  I'm a better hostess when I'm at ease.  My stress is lowered my enjoyment of company raised. I can greet my guests with an open heart and joyful excitement.  

 Plus, when I'm highly motivated and focused in prep mode, I can get a ton done.  I ride the energy and excitement - using it for motivation.  Post celebration, I get to enjoy a happy and clean home.  Our guest rarely judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves- be kind.

I wonder how many gatherings never happen because we are embarrassed or stressed about our homes?  My home isn't perfect, fancy or even completely finished... homes are works of art in progress.  If I wait for the perfect time.... it will never happen.

I love having people pop in and out of my home and life.  Some days I get caught with life exploding all over, dirty dishes and life....  It seems company pops by on those days more than when everything is tidy and clean!  sigh... oh well such is life.

The fact is cleaning and cluttering are space cleaning.  By cleaning, sorting, organizing and refreshing a space, you create a more welcoming space for you to live in and welcome warmly your friends and family

I call cleaning, decluttering and organizing Re-Booting or Refreshing because they reset your life. Just like unplugging your electronics for 60 seconds and then plugging back in does for your computer! Magic!!! All better!

Plan a gathering at your home, one person or 28 people.  The number doesn't matter as much as the act of opening up your home does.  The gift you gain by having company in your life is exponentially greater than the effort it takes.  In a world of cell phones and facebook, good old face to face gatherings are priceless for body, mind and spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving!
        Denise Frakes
            Home and Life Coach

Early morning of our fake turkey day - 3 rented tables, chairs and one converted ping pong table 

     

Change your cleaning vocabulary

Change your vocabulary 

Cleaning - clutter clearing - chores... they are exactly what you think they are

    Renaming changes Perceptions

           Reboot:  Cleaning is rebooting- rebooting is the act of turning off a crazy acting electronic, waiting 60 seconds and then plugging it back in.   Walla, magically your electronics start to flow again.  Cleaning is a way to reboot your your space and you.

           Space Clearing:  Cleaning and clutter clearing are space clearing.  Space clearing is the mindful act of shifting energies and refreshing a space to help it feel good and flow with ease.

          Shifting:  Cleaning and clutter clearing are energy shifting.  Stuck energy and stuck "stuff" feel heavy.  By moving your things and organizing, you also lighten up and get clear.

         Unplugged:  Cleaning is physical movement.  It is repetitive, consistent, mindless or mindful.  It has all the elements of a beautiful meditation practice.  Turn off your phone, open windows and breathe.

   Cleaning is a word we use that can be many things.  Be mindful of the words you use- they matter

    Wishing you a vast and uplifting vocabulary,

        Denise

    Home and life coach... at your service