the big question everyone should ask...the questions only you know the answer

"There is no greater gift, you can give or receive

than to honor your calling."  Oprah

What are you putting off that your soul, your spirit, your very essence wants you to do?  This week, I came across a question that stopped me in my tracks!

Whatever you are doing...or plan on doing, or are putting off doing...in 5 years if you do more of this thing....where will you be?  Will you be happier, healthier, kinder, prouder, freer, more loving, richer....?

It makes you ponder doesn't it?  No matter what anyone else thinks of our  actions, we all have an internal North Star that tells us if we are on the right path.  By asking this question...am I enhancing or diminishing my future by this action.  You will know.  We will know the answer.  

Going shopping, hitting the Amazon button, ordering a double cheese pizza, putting off calling a friend, staying up past or bedtime, heading out for a walk first thing in the dawn, writing on your porch on a Sunday afternoon after mowing the lawn.  Whatever you are doing or plan on doing...pause and ask this question.  In 5 years, if I continue doing _________ where will I be?  Will my internal essence, heart, my soul be cheering me on or sobbing?  

This question doesn't care how old we are, or what we did yesterday or 15 years ago.  It cares what we are doing right now and how we want to live in our own future.  Our current actions pave forward our future.   

Ask more questions!  Flush judgment down the drain!!  Judgement is wasted energy.  It does you no good.  How do you want your future to be?  A year from now, tomorrow morning?  

What do you truly love, what do you want to do with your beautiful life?  Our future is created day by day, moment by moment. Feeling stuck, of course, we all get stuck.  Just start with one little shift in a positive direction.  It can be microscopic...but headed towards a beautiful tomorrow.

It doesn't matter if your ______ is monumentally big or tiny....by taking a step in the right direction we begin.

Happy travels and questions,  Denise

Do not waste your Heart on fear!!

 "May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postpone my dream no longer,

But do at last what I came here for

And waste my heart no more on fear.

                    John O'Donohue

Can I get a YES?????????  We have got this.  Life, I mean.  Yes, there are things in the world that stink...but that does not give us the excuse of wasting this beautiful soul of ours to fear.  

What are we capable if we let go of fear and dream again?  

               Denise

The joy of work

 "It is the enjoyment of every step in the process of doing; everything not only the isolated piece we label art...  If you want to rush to the accomplishment, it is an inevitable disappointment. Then you rush to something else. The disappointment is repeated over and over again.  But if every step is pleasant, then the accomplishment becomes even more, because it is nourished by what is going on."

"All the stages of one's work have a poetic nature."

                                         Sue Bender  Plain and Simple

Clutter clearing gives you breathing space to live. And this is good.

But there is more.  When you learn how to make your daily work a practice of love, that's when you transcend your work into something extraordinary. 

When you can shift your work...no matter how ordinary, boring or below your pay grade.  When your work becomes your art. When you change the very nature of what you are doing. When you shift your long held beliefs about your work.   In this process, your work becomes healing.

If you would have said to me, what I just said to you when I was a girl on the farm, I would have fell into a heap of giggles and complete disbelief.  And yet, here I am, after 30 plus years of  this practice...sometimes kicking and screaming...I get it.  At least today I do.  

Our daily work is a practice.  Sometimes this work is a deep practice.  With one foot in front of the other through gritted teeth. But the art does happen.   Work becomes poetic. More and more frequently I feel it now.  Our daily work is the rhythm of our life.  It is an act of love.

This morning I was reminded of a great conversation I had with a wise client 13 years ago.  At that time,  I was just really beginning this deeper practice of home care. Little did I know where it would take me. Somehow the path just kept opening up to me as if saying "stay here, go deep, create art while you work, share it with kindred souls who think your crazy"!" And low and behold, here I am sharing this message with you my friend.

May your journey be sweet and long.  May your dishes be a time of joy, your pick up a space of gratitude and your vacuuming an act of love.  May you never "work" another day.

                                                       Denise Frakes... Life, home and work coach

Take the 7 day breathing challenge - clean off life's residues!

"Breathing in, I calm my body

Breathing out, I smile

Dwelling in the Present Moment

the only Moment"

Thich Nhat Hanh

For my gift to you this January...I'm sharing a 7 day breathing challenge.

7 days...7 exercises for your lungs.  Because, in homes and lives...breathing is life.

Clearing clutter...looking back from yesterday,  last year...or the last 15 years, can uncover grief.  As much as I love joy, grief is also a valuable emotion.  The key is to let grief do her or his work...and then let it flow out.  This may take time...but not too much.  Because when we let grief get stuck...that's when it sets up camp.  Emotions need to flow.  Our stuff need to flow, our emotions need to flow too.  

Did you know lungs are thought to be the organ you hold grief in?

Last year, we all had loss.  A loss of friends and family, a loss of work, a loss of connection a loss of freedom, travel, events...the list is large.  It was an extraordinary year...growth and loss.

You know, we think about grief when we lose someone...but there are many way we grieve.

Every loss can leave it's mark...unless you remember to keep cleaning off life's residues.

If you are feeling a bit down, and or clearing your clutter, or just want to breathe deeper and better...do these exercises everyday in January...and beyond.

The following exercise are by Donna Eden of Energy Medicine and her two daughters, Titanya and Dondi.  Together they created a fantastic 7 day challenge. FYI , I've been a big fan of Donna Eden and her work for over 20 plus years.  

  

These exercises are from a December  7 day challenge.

I did the challenge and continue to do these 7 exercises everyday. I recommend them 

to you too.

 They only take a couple minutes per day.

 The most common side effect I get are big, lung stretching and contented yawns.

Start this new year with fresh breath 

 and clean off some of the residues left by 2020.

Take the 7 day breathing challenge!!!

Clean off life's residues...Nourish your lungs...

Now...start over and do it again....

  Happy new year my friend.  I look forward to many conversations with you this year,

             Denise Frakes

           Home and Life Coach

  

Clutter clearing is spiritual

Clutter clearing is spiritual.  Clutter effects us physically, mentally, emotionally...and spiritually.  When you walk into a room and your energy drops, your confidence fades and you can't breathe...this weight builds on and depletes your soul.  

I was drawn to my work in clutter clearing, not to create perfectly tidy homes but to create space for the beautiful souls that live there. 

There are no perfect homes but the souls that live there are naturally perfect.  We all have a story and an authentic calling.  My joy, my job is to see the beauty beyond the stuff. To support the path of each spirit that lives inside.  

By no means am I a perfect clutter clearer.  Heavens, I'm not perfect at anything.  Which in itself is perfect, because my work is not to fix but to uncover that which was there all along.  It takes one imperfectly...perfect soul to see that beauty in another

I believe in my heart, we are all beautiful, creative and important to this world.  When our souls and energies are depleted we don't shine.  Our authentic gifts get bogged down in life.  

Clutter clearing is a practical and incredibly effective practice to shift the energy of a home...and our lives in the process.  The magic of shifting a space, of releasing old memories, stuck energy, over stuffed places and general ugh.. is transformational.  

There is a physical response to a room being shifted, cleaned and uplifted. I can feel it in my body.  My breath expands- literally, it's like life rushes into my chest. 

When you clean and unclutter, when you open your windows and let fresh air in, you are creating flow for your spirit to awaken and thrive.   

 I write and talk on cleaning, tools, habits and healthy homes ... all of which are very important. But at the heart of my work, is not to help you create a shiny home but a shiny spirit.  A home that supports your authentic beautiful soul.  A home that is healthy, easy, nourishing and.. feels like a big breath of fresh air...and a cozy hug.

In this time of pandemics, wild fires and physical distancing, creating a space that lets you rest deeply and feel nourished is essential.  It's easy to gather up more things to fill voids and even get bogged down and not care for this space.   

So turn off the TV, turn on some music.  If the air is healthy outside, open up your windows wide and create a space for yourself...even a little shift.  A tiny space refreshed will have a profound effect on your spirit.  Clean off your desk, wash your sheets, take a shower, pick up your floors...it all matters!  If you need a little boost along the way, you know who to call.

     From my spirit to yours,  Denise

               

Don't panic...it's spring...time to clean

Wow, what a month!  Yesterday, I found myself getting lost in the "what if loop".  It wasn't fear of the virus. I'm confident in our abilities to prevent and heal from that. No, what I was feeling was economic fear.  Fear of the unknown state of our economy.

So what can we do?  First of all don't panic.  Year's ago, my friend Sarah, told me of going on a river rafting trip with her family.  They ran into some rapids and her brother flew out of the raft.  Sarah started yelling.  "Everyone stay calm, nobody panic!!!!"  She said she was totally panicking, but somehow by telling others to stay calm, she was calmed."  What happened?  Her brother got back in the boat and they continued down the river.

Whenever I think of panicking, I think of Sarah and saying  "don't panic, everybody stay calm!"  It helps.

Beyond not panicking… what can we do?  What I know for sure is when we are happy and healthy our brains work better, we are better problem solvers, more creative and our immune systems stronger.  When our homes are calm, clean, tidy and thoughtfully created, we are happier and healthier.

So we have work to do.  Instead of panicking, we need to get to work.  Outside, spring is bursting at the seams.  Which means, no matter what you hear in the news, spring is still springing.  Spring is the season of renewal, fresh starts and explosions of joy.  It is also time to do a little spring cleaning.  Spring cleaning for our bodies, minds, homes, neighborhoods and businesses.  Spring cleaning is the intentional act of renewal, refreshing and rebooting so we can begin again.

Funny thing about cleaning. It makes us feel better. When our environments are happy, calm, easy, clean and well cared for, we naturally feel the same. A nourishing space, calms our nervous system.
So instead of panicking...it's time to roll up our sleeves, start cleaning out the clutter, the stagnate spaces of our homes and lives.  

From this space we can breathe.  We need to let our beautiful, resilient spirits and minds work at a high level of creativity and vision.

While we are at it, let's start picking up our neighborhoods and getting the trash off the streets. Clean up our yards and create spaces where we feel prosperous and happy.  When in doubt, don't panic and start cleaning.  You will be surprised how this old, simple act of shifting our spaces- refreshes our spirits and restores our confidence.

If you start feeling weary, shut off the TV, the social media accounts and your pop up reminders.  Open up the windows, clean house, get outside and start pulling weeds and cleaning out beds.  Grab a bag and go pick up trash in the woods, in your neighborhoods.  Go outside and hang out in spring.

Action- reduces fear.  Cleaning is an action of renewal.  Cleaning is like spring. No matter what we do as humans, spring will still surprises us with beauty and delight.  We are resilient, and creative beings..

   When we are happy...our immune systems are stronger, we are more resilient and creative...
                  Denise
                       Coach

Habits of Happiness ... or Habits of Ruin?

Have you ever considered home chores as habits?  This is the kind of stuff I ponder every day.  Why do we do what we do and is there a better way?  Last night I did a presentation on clutter for the city of Federal Way.  Most of my talk was on habits...because....

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

By shifting our habits we create our future.  For some, the daily grind of caring for a home becomes a depleting burden... by shifting our habits we can take what we thought of as a chore and turn it into a practice that works for us. 

Life is precious.  Let your habits work for you.

Action:  Notice what you do, how you think about your home? What habits do you have?  This is where I can help.  We rarely see ourselves.  It's a blessing and curse.  By having an outside and kindly soul help you see, you get to start shifting and creating a life and home you love.

     happy habits...lead to happy lives,

          Denise Frakes

               Home and life coach at your service

Perfect cleaning is irritating to the soul

 

Cleaning is a means to enhance the happiness and health of life and home.  It isn't perfection or judgment.  I don't aim for a perfect home and as I look around my home today, I'm happily enjoying today...and my house is messy.  It will get rebooted but not at this moment..

When you visit a home and it's out of order...smile and love the person.  Smile at your instincts that might judge and realize they are probably generations old.

It's time to let go of judgment and love what is.  Creating a home that is healthy and happy is the goal.  Perfection is irritating to the soul.  Embracing the art of imperfection is a kinder place to live.

Just a thought from one beautifully imperfect soul to another

              Denise

          

Housework- burnout. It's real

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  there is a sparkle in their presence.  When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety.  Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                       Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188

Clean toilets aren't sexy but matter.  Have you ever got sick and headed for the toilet?  Cleaning matters. It's also a life chore.  A life chore is a daily or weekly chore that repeats, repeats and repeats.  They never finish. Household chores travel under the radar- no parade or wow moments...they are essential and consistent.  They plod along year after year.

 Left uncared for, life chores will wear on our spirits and vitality.  Think about it cleaning & cooking every day, every week for the next 60 years... The doer of these quiet chores is going to need a little love. If not cared for homes feel neglected, clutter builds.  The caretaker heavy sighs and hangs their shoulders.

  My grandma Lois was uncommonly wise in her household chores.  She hired what she could, simplified the rest. She had grandpa do the outside work and grocery shopping. Her work was rhythmic- Saturday was laundry, dinner dishes were done and kitchen put to bed each night. As far as I know, she mostly woke up to a clean and tidy kitchen.   On Friday and Saturday nights, she took a breather and had my grandpa take her out to dinner.  Sunday night was called chef's night off.  Dinner was always popcorn and apples.  
I remember visiting her when she was in her 90s.  There were chores I wanted to help her with. She said, "let them wait, they will still be here tomorrow, I would rather spend time with you now."

Does clutter builds because we are just tired of fiddling with our stuff?

House Cleaning/Chore Burnout is real and more common than you think

Life burnout isn't just from your job... It comes from life.  Residue free living is cultivating habits and actions that keep your spirit joyful throughout your entire life.  So at the end of our life, when there are still bills to be paid, toilets to clean and meals to be created... our spirits will still shine, our laughter light and bubbling, ours hearts is still open and full of joy.  This is what residue free living is. It is the process of renewal of our mind, body, and spirit through life- no matter what the weather and what year of cleaning you are on.  Residue free is learning skills and habits that will make your work easier, more productive and more delightful.

This month I challenge you to lighten up your chores, your clutter.  Delegate what you can, hire help, reduce work, share work and let go of what is weighing you down.  Schedule days off.  Schedule play.  Add in splashes of color, delight, fresh flowers, curiosities and surprises for the spirit.  

residue free living 

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment, and fun;  

there is a sparkle in their presence.  

When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety. 

 Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you."  

                                                           Anam Cara by John O'Donohue  Pg 187-188
           
                                            Happy Travels,
                                                 Denise- Residue free coach of home and life
                                                     There is not time life the present to change our future

Are you becoming a Zombie?

Are you the primary keeper of your home? Manager of your household?  Do you run a business, manage a staff? Are you the chief bottle washer and cook?  Maid, chauffer, bookkeeper and gardener?  Are you a caretaker?  Do you have a job that repeats itself everyday?
Do you feel like you are in the move Groundhog day?

If you said yet 2 or more of these read on...

Life, if not checked, can bring on a spirit diminishing residue, a life muck, a weight on our souls that can turn us into zombies.   If you want to become a zombie here you go...

10 easy tips to become a zombie

    1. Do get up and work all day until you fall into bed completely exhausted.
    2. Do the same schedule everyday: no variations- no flexibility- keep it ridged and serious!

    3. Do not ask for help, don't hire support. Do it all yourself!
    4. Do more than is humanly possible.  Feel free to wear yourself down completely

    5. Grumble openly or under your breath- it's perfectly fine to resent your life and family
    6. No matter what you do- don't have fun.  No spontaneous adventures!

    7. Don't simplify, unclutter or minimize your work. Buy more, work harder- not smarter!!
    8. Do hold a stern face as you clean, slump your shoulders as you cook and shuffle as you walk.

    9.  Eat crap- live on sugar!  Watch TV and stay inside!!!
   10. Do this repeatedly.  Don't change a thing.  Expect the same old thing everyday!

 This practice of becoming a zombie can take a lifetime to perfect.  The important thing to remember: if you want to become a zombie, you must repeatedly act the part.  It is easiest if you are super busy and are getting little sleep.  Perfect for new moms, caretakers and business owners. It's a little harder when you are playing and giving yourself a dose of daily TLC.  Still it is doable in any situation.  Practice does makes perfect!!

If you have become a zombie or on the way, there is an antidote so not to worry. The beauty of our spirit is it remains fully intact our entire lives.  We just need to scrub off the residue,   I will warn you cleaning off the muck may take effort. As you clean off life's residue- you can expect wonder, curiosity, clarity and delight re-appear.  I've seen this over and over again.

If you want to un-zombie your life, contact me... at info@dfbluesky.com
 I do warn you, un-zombie...ing your life brings a sparkle to your spirit.
               Denise
                      Coach and guide- home and life...at your service

3 Essentials to Reduce Stress

How much time do you spend indoors?  Did you know the average American  spends only 7% of our time outside?  Really???  This is not good.  Especially considering the many benefits nature gives our minds, bodies and spirits. 

Did you know cleaning and uncluttering your home can actually make you healthy and happy?  Most of us instinctively understand this connection but when stressed we sometimes forget.

When I'm stressed I have 3 essentials I use to help myself get back into balance

    1.  I clean, organizing and reboot my home

When my home is clean and thoughtfully placed- life seems easier, I relax. My nervous system relaxes

               2.  I go outside and pull weeds, mow lawn, chop things down

     Yard work is perfect for venting stress and unplugging from life

   3.  I go outside and get some good LSD (LSD= Long Slow Distance... running/ walking time in)

Moving in nature lets me process life and I get out of my own brain. 

Moving in rhythm puts me back into rhythm 

We all have stress.  We need ways to destress ourselves.  By incorporating TLC into our daily habits and chores not only will be up our natural joy but we also get more done with less effort.  

Do this... make a list of...

3 current habits that deplete or stress you...

consider reducing electronic time, sugar and staying up past your bed time

 list of three habits you would like to add in

 Consider adding in cleaning, uncluttering, exercise and more time in nature/beauty 

Pick one item from each list

For the next month let go something that depletes you and add at least one action that nourishes you.

Happy travels,

      Denise Frakes.. Life and Home Coach

5 ways to effectively use or not use storage units

Have you noticed the number of new storage rental spaces going up?  There are 3 big storage facilities currently under construction close to my home.  Extra storage has its advantages but before you decide invest in a storage unit... read on.

The self storage business has become a $38 billion dollar business.  Which is fantastic if you own or invest in storage facilities.  Not so great if you are one of their customers.

For the last 10 plus years, I have coached and supported families in uncluttering and simplifying their homes and lives.  I'll be the first to recommend a storage unit when it actually supports the family, but in most cases a storage unit will become a long term burden, both financially and emotionally.

There is a law of physics that says:

 Things in motion tend to stay in motion, things at rest, tend to stay at rest. 

 Storage units puts our things at rest...and there they sit.

There is a good reason the storage unit business is booming.  First, as a culture we are exploding with extra stuff:  our memorabilia, our kid's stuff, our parent's stuff, our business stuff, our hobby stuff, our home remodeling stuff, I'll get to it soon stuff, and our not sure what to do with stuff.  You get the picture.

 Once our stuff gets removed from our home and into a big metal box...it usually stays there - sometimes for years and years.

5 ways to effectively use or not use storage units

1.  Always have a plan and exit strategy  Be very clear why you are getting a storage unit and have a exit date from the beginning.

2.  Use storage unit for transitions  moving/remodeling your home, families in transition, kids in transition.  By using a storage unit verses filling up your own home, you keep from overwhelming your life with other peoples stuff.  It's hard to remove other peoples things from your home once they have taken root.  Again, have an exit strategy upfront.

3. Use the storage unit to support tiny homes  I have several clients who live in tiny spaces- boats, condo's etc.  In this case, think of your storage unit as another room.  Create this space as a working space.  Put like with like and let it be a workable addition to your home.  Add the cost of the storage unit in your budget as part of your rent/ home cost.

4. Thoughtfully create the storage unit as a working space  Don't just throw in boxes.  Organize by category- think like with like.  Put your taxes all together, your suitcases together, your grandmothers dishes together.  Label clearly and with detail.  If you can, put boxes around edges so you can find and sort your stuff with little effort.  The more inviting the storage unit, the more likely you will be to use and downsize the space.

5.  Downsize instead of storing If you are feeling overwhelmed in your own home, a storage unit won't make it all go away.  Consider hiring help to downsize your home.  The money and effort spent in uncluttering and simplifying your life is worth a 1000 storage units.  If you find it difficult to unclutter your home...you will find it even harder to dig out from a storage unit.  An ounce of prevention is priceless.

If you need help, get support.  Many hands do in fact make more effective work.  With help in downsizing, your focus and efforts are exponentially improved.  The freedom you gain is priceless.  My own specialty is making work fun, keeping your stress at ease and regaining your life.  When you are having a good time, work stops being work.  While we work we create a healthy nourishing home and discovering your new life... free of stuff.

Happy travels,
             Denise Frakes
                  Coach for home and life

Uncluttered Happiness

Deciding which direction to go isn't as important as making a decision.  The same goes for deciding what to keep and what to let go of.  A clear decision can make you happier than having too many options.  Our state of happiness is more resilient than we give it credit for.

This morning as I was researching for another blog, I came across a review of Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk on the Science of Happiness.  Dan shares insights into what I have witnessed time after time in my coaching practice.  We get lost in the details.  Afraid to make the wrong choice or take the wrong path.  As it turns out, no matter which way we decide, the science of happiness supports our happiness level.  We are naturally resilient.

To watch the Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk Click here

The next time you are trying to decide what book to keep, which restaurant to visit or even which dream to follow... watch this talk.  The decision may not be as important as you think.  Wrong or right, it will have little impact on your long term happiness.

I find this study incredibly calming to my worries of life.  No matter what happens, in 3 months, I'll be back to my current level of happiness.  Good to know...

Happiness is more of a habit than singular event

    Happy New Year!  Here's to living light and clear this year!
                            Denise

                           Talk about resiliency!  Dandelions can bloom even in Winter!!

Change your cleaning vocabulary

Change your vocabulary 

Cleaning - clutter clearing - chores... they are exactly what you think they are

    Renaming changes Perceptions

           Reboot:  Cleaning is rebooting- rebooting is the act of turning off a crazy acting electronic, waiting 60 seconds and then plugging it back in.   Walla, magically your electronics start to flow again.  Cleaning is a way to reboot your your space and you.

           Space Clearing:  Cleaning and clutter clearing are space clearing.  Space clearing is the mindful act of shifting energies and refreshing a space to help it feel good and flow with ease.

          Shifting:  Cleaning and clutter clearing are energy shifting.  Stuck energy and stuck "stuff" feel heavy.  By moving your things and organizing, you also lighten up and get clear.

         Unplugged:  Cleaning is physical movement.  It is repetitive, consistent, mindless or mindful.  It has all the elements of a beautiful meditation practice.  Turn off your phone, open windows and breathe.

   Cleaning is a word we use that can be many things.  Be mindful of the words you use- they matter

    Wishing you a vast and uplifting vocabulary,

        Denise

    Home and life coach... at your service

Cleaning Friend or Foe?

 This morning a poem popped into my head before I even put my feet to the floor.  I'm on my way to hold a cleaning class.  Last night I was thinking about cleaning.... apparently even in my dreams;-) After 27 plus years, cleaning has turned into more of a philosophy than chore.  

  How we treat our chores will tell us much about who we are... enjoy

   Friend or Foe?

Cleaning is your life traveling partner

She will become what you ask

You can think of her as a dreaded chore

Or a partner and friend

Treat her poorly and your life will crumble

Treat her with love and your spirit will thrive

You can give her an honored space in your life

Or you can stuff her in a dark closet, throw rags and toxins at her

You can desert her but only for a while

She needs care, but she doesn’t need fussing

She will warm your hands and soul during the dinner dishes

She will give you something to do when you lose your way

She will watch you throw your shoes in the closet

And she will smile as you gently place them there too

She watches sadly when you struggle and dances when you thrive

She can turn your home into an oasis or into a prison

She is a meditative practice

She is space to ponder

She will travel with you when you celebrate

She will be there when you cry

She is simple and nourishing

She can feel exasperating and perplexing

When treated well she will give you clarity and wisdom

When treated poorly she will muddle and tangle you

She is essential

She is steady

She asks for very little.

She will bless your home when thanked and loved

She is your traveling partner in this life

Treat her well and she will make your life sing

Make your choice- friend or foe?

Discover her magic and or live in her sorrow

Denise Frakes  cleaning poem from the wee hours of July 29- 2018

Breathing....to find your joy

Breathe in....Breathe out

Buy beautiful materials.....Create

Gather ideas... Give them wings

I think we get stuck.  We have an abundance of resources in our country.  We are rich and yet we are also poor.  Because we have the gift of abundance we can forget there is always a balance to life.  In getting there must be a release. 

Clutter clearing isn't about deprivation it is about balancing and completing the cycle.  We can't just breathe in...we need to release and breath out.  It is on the out breath that we find happiness.

Inhale....Exhale...Inhale...Exhale... Ahhhhh ;-)

       Wishing you joy in your completions, your releasing and the epiphanies and blessings that come from both
                         Denise

Emergency surgery and hot water

About 5-6 years ago, we lost power after a big snow storm. After 4 days with no hot water or heat in our home, I was chilled to the bone.  When the power returned I remember plunging my hands into the hot soapy water and dirty dishes.  I was happy in a soapy sink of gratitude.

I pledged not to take hot water for granted and try to be thankful.  Throughout the years, most days, as I do the dishes or take a shower, I think of that moment of gratitude and warmth.   I don't spend much time with the thoughts of gratitude but they do appear.  I feel nourished, grounded, calm and thankful.  Such a little thing, I didn't think much of it until last Saturday.

 Saturday my husband and I found ourselves at the hospital emergency room. It was 2:30 in the morning.  Dallas had just arrived via the ambulance.  He was soon to be headed for emergency surgery.

 Dallas was in pain, I was helpless and stressed.  I needed to stay calm for both our sakes.  Who know a simple practice I had picked up would come to my rescue. 

While we waited in the emergency room I had to go pee.   When I washed up I felt the warm water hit my hands and my whole body relaxed.  Instantly, I felt grounded and safe.  I was grateful and calm.

  Somewhere along the way, I had turned a daily chore into a trigger to become present, grounded and thankful.  I don't know when it happened but it is absolutely there.

As for Dallas he is healing up very well.  Thank you to all the well wishes and support that have come our way. 

When gratitude becomes a daily practice they just might show up in unexpected places.

Thank you to everyone at CHI St Francis who cared for my husband and for hot water.
           Denise

Improve your decluttering muscles with a tour of Seattle Chocolates

What do you love?  What do you love so deeply that it makes your spirit dance and eyes sparkle?  How do you decide what you truly love and what is only life clutter?

By building exploration and discovery muscles- that's how.

Yesterday, my girlfriend and I went on a sensory tour of the Seattle Chocolate Factory.

 At the end of the tour a 6 piece chocolate taste test was waiting for us to enjoy.  Our task was simple: taste each chocolate.  What do you love?  Each piece eaten with full awareness and curiosity.  Do I love this?  What do I love about it?  What do I taste?  How does it compare to the other 5 samples?  If I could only pick one, which one would I choose?  
The idea of choosing got me thinking...

Learning to discover what you truly love is an art.  Keeping everything just incase or because you feel obligated is like buying bad chocolate and then filling your pantry with it.

February is known as the month of Love and Chocolate.  I challenge you, not to look at your life full of clutter, but to elevate your senses into a place of playful discovery.  What do you truly love?  If you could only keep one book, magazine, bolt of fabric, craft, appointment, sweater, chocolate bar ..... which one would it be?

  Put order into your sorting process.  Which do I love the most?  By rating your chocolates in order of favorite to least favorite, you build the ability to identify what you truly love.  Keep the top 20%, let go of the rest.

   A sensory tour helps you ignite your discovery muscles. These newly strengthened muscles can be applied to your home clutter, your life clutter, time clutter etc.  Imagine all this because of a little, delicious chocolate tour.... priceless!

  FYI:  When you eat your chocolate savor each bite.  Life and chocolate are best when consumed slowly with full attention.  Let go of what you don't love so you have more time and energy for what you truly do love.

Clutter clearing is TLC for your spirit... keep it fun!

Go to Seattle Chocolate's home site

Meet Chis he was our guide into the world of Chocolate
 It was fun, delicious and worth repeating- Thanks Chris!!

Go to list for staying healthy in the Winter

Hi All,
   As I type this it is raining cats and dogs outside.  Going outside for a run doesn't sound nearly as inviting as it did a couple months ago... and yet...

When I moved to Washington from Colorado, I struggled in the winter months.  The short days, cloudy skies and lack of sunshine created a less light and bright me.  Here are 5 of my go to strategies for staying healthy all winter long

1.  Go outside everyday!  Even if you just stand on your porch- get some fresh air.

2.  Up your veggies and minimize the processed  foods, sugars and over indulgences.
           Your body will thank you!

3.  When you come home from shopping, work, socializing wash your hands first thing. 
   This will help keep viruses out of your home.
  On that same note- always wash up before eating

4.  Stretch and breathe deeply.  Stretching gives you energy and helps keep you open. 
         Both stretching and deep slow breathing open up your lungs and heart.

5.  Lighten up your life- declutter the extras
              Add in a bit more TLC/play/recess/freetime/naptime

Wishing you all vitality all year long.
       Denise
No need to go it alone
Call me and set up a time to create your own go to list of TLCs.  253-278-1082
Contact Dallas for a deep relaxing sound bath and personal Reiki session. 253-278-1244

Change your perception...lighten your life

It is said your eyes are the windows to your soul. 

What do you see...when it comes to your chores?

  I'm super excited to share my upcoming class with you.  When I work with clients in my coaching and clutter clearing,  I'm most aware of their energy shifts.  I'm looking for eye shifts, body shifts.  Eyes that light up and sparkle and bodies that tighten and become stuck.  Body movements tell me more than the words spoken.

 Cleaning and clutter clearing are very personal.  How you clean is more important that what you know or the cleaners and tools you use.  It is the energy you bring to the task that means the most.

  Life is too short to let a ongoing chore take any of your spark.  Cleaning and clutter clearing tend either deplete your energy or uplift your spirits.  The task is the same, how you see this task makes all the difference in the world 

Over the past 26 years of working with families and business I have discovered a common thread.

               It isn't the task as much as the perception

         of that task that matters the most

Do you see cleaning as a way to reground yourself, to reboot your  home and create balance in this world?

Do you think of cleaning as a weight, an ongoing and never ending exhausting ball wrapped around your spirit and soul?  

There is no right or wrong answer here, it is only your perspective.  How you think about cleaning or anything will dictate if this task depletes you or gives you energy.

On March 30st, I will be holding a class on this very subject.  "Three ways to make friends with house cleaning"   The principles I will share can be used for shifting any perception. 

( In this class, I will also share tips residue free or green cleaning.)

 My class will be held at Marlene's Market in Federal Way.  The city of Federal Way has graciously sponsored this talk as part of their green home series. Thank you Federal Way

Click here to register and get class details

The classes are listed by date- ours is held on March 31st (scroll down)

Does the thought of cleaning as a practice of joy, flow and gratitude sound a little better than heavy item on your never ending to do list?  If so come join me.  

I'll also be teaching this same class for the 

city of Kirkland April 11th!!